


To cut a star in two

by SweetAlphaChild



Series: Tobidei Week 2019 [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Naruto World, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Broken Soul Bond, Day 5, Disabled Obito, Fantastic Science, Fate as science, Fictional field of science, I read Descartes to write this, M/M, Obito being Obito, Pain, Poor Life Choices, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scars, Senju Orochimaru, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Tattoos, There's a bit of fic in your angst, TobiDei - Freeform, TobiDei Week, TobiDei Week 2019, Writing on Skin, deep thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2020-10-27 15:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20762615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetAlphaChild/pseuds/SweetAlphaChild
Summary: Losing your soulmate bond hurts like losing a limb. Deidara had a soulmate once. Obito still does but he refuses to accept the curse that fate cast upon him.





	1. Chapter 1

A thin, smooth object running across his face woke him up. Obito grunted and opened his eyes. The smiling faces of his two little cousins was the first thing he saw. He cursed internally. He had finally succumbed to his built-up fatigue while watching 'Kagemasa 3' with the children he was supposed to babysit.

He hastily sat up.

"Shit!" he muttered.

They gasped.

"He said a bad word!" Itachi whispered to Shisui, loud enough for him to hear.

The kids struggled to supress a giggle. The latter was hiding something on his back.

"What are you hiding?" Obito asked.

"Nothing!"

More giggles.

After tickling his belly, Obito got him to release what he was hiding. A black marker. Noticing that they were staring at his face too much, he realized what the problem was.

"Ah... You didn't..."

He went to the bathroom and looked himself in the mirror. They had drawn a black moustache and a goatee. Red circles on his cheeks and long eyelashes around his eyes.

A red marker fell from Itachi's pocket.

"You look good like that!"

"Listen..." Obito cleared his throat. "I don't tell aunt Mikoto that you did this, if you don't tell her I fell asleep this afternoon. Understood?"

"Did you have to be awake, Obito-niichan?" Itachi asked.

Busted by a four year old boy. Grimacing, he walked away. Little smartypants...

Obito looked at the back of his left hand. His cousins had also drawn a rainbow there. Since he didn't know what to answer, he diverted the subject.

"Where are the rest of the markers?" Obito asked.

"We only used red and black," Shisui said.

"Oh, really? What about this one? Did it appear by magic?" Obito pointed to his hand.

"Yes!" both kids answered.

Before he could search them to confiscate the rest of the evidence, the front door opened. Obito heard the tap of high heels on the floor. His aunt had just arrived.

The children explained that Obito had let them paint his face and he decided to forgive them, as they didn't say a word about his untimely nap. Mikoto searched inside her purse, took a fifty ryo note from her wallet and told Obito he could leave.

It was a little more than the pay they agreed. Obito's eyes went wide looking at the money. He thanked her and went to buy an ice lolly. The day was hot and muggy even though they had just hit September. He still had a few more days of summer break.

With the rest of the money, he went into a second-hand video game store and left with a new game he had wanted to try for months. The guy who served him didn't stop staring at him for a second. Rude.

Then he realized that everyone else was also staring. Kids pointed at him and boys and girls his age giggled when he passed by. He stopped in his tracks, he had been so excited about the money that he had forgotten to wash his face before leaving.

"Shiiiiiiit!" he shouted out loud.

* * *

"But Deidara! What did you do to yourself?"

"What's so funny, hm?"

His mother put aside the vase she was painting. Deidara watched her laugh out loud without understanding what was going on.

"Don't tell me you've been walking around like that."

"I wanted to draw a rainbow, but I ran out of paper. Kurotsuchi used it all to make pinwheels,” Deidara showed her the reverse of his left hand. "So I drew it here!"

"What about your face?"

Deidara touched his cheek. Now that he thought about it, his friend had been also staring at him and laughing.

"I didn't paint my face, hm."

"So... Did Kurotsuchi do it as a prank?"

"Nah. I would have noticed. Kuro is not that good."

"Anything you say," his mother laughed again. "It is already getting late. Go have a bath and wash your face. The bathtub is full. Don't even think about going to bed like that."

"Fine."

Deidara groaned and left the family workshop. He didn't go to the bathroom, but to his room. He knelt in front of his closet and opened the last drawer. Then he pulled several t-shirts out until he found a thick folder in which he kept his drawings. Someday he would be a great artist. It was what he thought every time he saw them again one by one to notice differences and improvements in his drawing style.

"Deidara! I said the bathtub is full!" he heard his mother say. "Go now before water cools down!"

"I'm going!" he answered.

He grabbed clean clothes, took some towels and went to the bathroom. The air felt moist, warm and sticky. Fog had already covered the mirror and Deidara stood on tiptoe to be able to clean it with the back of his hand.

His face was clean. No sign of the supposed scribbles his mother was talking about. Shrugging, he started to undress and didn't give it a second thought.

* * *

He had to borrow his grandmother's make-up remover bottle to wipe all the ink off his face, but Obito had finally done it. Not without rubbing until his skin felt tender and sensitive. He checked himself in the mirror for any remains, before nodding to himself. Then he saw the rainbow in his hand and dipped one more cotton ball in liquid.

Something, he didn't know what, prevented him from erasing the drawing. The lines were firm, hard to believe a little kid had done them. Surely it had been his cousin Shisui, who liked arts and crafts more than Itachi, who enjoyed sports more. It was beautiful, he liked to look at it. He decided he wouldn't wipe it off yet, so he picked up the pile of dirty cotton balls, stepped on the bin pedal and dropped them inside.

It was while making dinner for him and his grandmother, when Obito noticed that his hand was clean again and he had no memory of having cleaned it.

Or perhaps he had done it and forgotten about it. He wasn't sure anymore.

* * *

"Didn't you see how icy the pavement is? You're crazy!"

Deidara leaned his bicycle's handlebar against the wall and took off his wool hat and scarf. As soon as he did, the cold winter air hit his face.

"It's not that bad, I was about to fall only a couple of times," white puffs of air came out of his mouth as he spoke.

Kurotsuchi placed her palm across her face. She was still wearing the school uniform.

"The day you break your leg, I'm going to laugh for five minutes straight before helping you."

"I know how evil you are. Unfortunately for you I won't fall, hm."

"You don't know that. And come in before the cold all rushes in before you. My father is going to make us hot chocolate in a bit."

Deidara went up the steps in front of the entrance door and took off his shoes, gloves and coat. From there he could hear the voices of the characters in the series they watched every day.

"I see I arrived just in time," he walked into the living room and dropped onto the couch in front of the television.

"Deidara-nii... What's that?" Kurotsuchi raised her chin slightly, her eyes fixed on his hand.

"What's what?" When he looked, he realized that the palm of his hand was full of weird words. "What the...?"

Kurotsuchi sat next to him and grabbed his hand. Deidara tugged, hiding it from her.

"Have you cheated in the test!?" She sounded amused, almost excited.

"I haven't!"

"You cheated in the test!"

"I told you I didn't!"

Deidara looked again at the text in his hand, unable to prevent his friend from peeking.

"Amphi..." Kurotsuchi read. "Amphibians, I think it says... Oxygen... Sulfur S... Selenium... It seems like chemistry but I don't know. This handwriting is terrible."

"See? It can't be me, hm," he retorted.

"And we don't have chemistry..."

The television was the only sound in the room for the next few second. Deidara tried to ignore that annoying feeling in his mind. He spit on his hand and tried to get rid of the text, but failed.

"What if...?"

"You have a soulmate!" Kurotsuchi interrupted him as she stood up.

Just the thought he was trying to avoid. It was said that only one in ten people had a soulmate. Deidara never thought he could have one. He didn't like that. It wasn't any different from an arranged marriage.

"This is stupid, hm. And plus I don't want to have a girlfriend."

"They say it's suuuper romantic," Kurotsuchi bothered him, batting her eyelids too fast.

"Gross."

"And that when you find them, you have to kiss them on the lips."

Deidara grimaced.

"Ew."

"And with tongue and everything," she made kissy wet noises as she spoke.

Just thinking about licking another person's tongue made Deidara's stomach twist.

"Shut up. Now I'm too grossed out to drink hot chocolate."

"Great! More for me!"

That strange feeling intensified. His heart was beating faster. Deidara clenched his fist so he wouldn't have to see his hand. It didn't matter anymore, because fate or whatever had matched him with someone he didn't even know.

Who would it be?

"I wonder who your soulmate is," Kurotsuchi said.

"I don't," he lied.

"Will it be someone from school?"

"Ugh. I hope not."

"If they study chemistry, they probably are in high school. They're older than you!"

"I said I don't care, hm," Deidara's bad mood spoke for him.

"A high school student with awful handwriting that cheats on tests!"

Kurotsuchi kept making theories up about his soulmate, each more bizarre than the previous one. He ended up ignoring her while he forced himself to sip his hot chocolate just because he refused to give it to her."

* * *

Everything was Hidan's fault.

It was while he was locked in his room, after a row with his mother and hitting his bedroom's wall until his knuckles peeled, when Deidara recalled without feeling repulsion that he had a soulmate.

If it weren't for his piece of shit of a classmate, he wouldn't have been expelled three days just before the end of the term. He knew that risking being expelled could cause the high schools he had applied to to reject him, but he wasn't going to let the idiot to disrespect him the way he did.

His swollen lip still ached, but that pain dissipated when he saw Hidan's dried blood under his fingernails.

Why did everyone have to be such a jerk? Why couldn't Kurotsuchi put herself in his shoes? Just like his teachers. Just like her mother. Just like the rest of the damn world.

Deidara felt that the only source of reassurance he had left might come from that door he had always refused to open. Even then, when nothing more than the simple thought of having that connection there comforted him, he doubted whether it was part of him or part of that ridiculous mystical instinct that caused the union between soulmates or whatever that was.

Deidara was tempted to go online to find information, just what he had always avoided. Instead he threw himself on the bed, stroking his hand. Did his soulmate that rainbow he drew years ago? Maybe not. Or maybe he didn't associate it with that, but... Why didn't he answer? Rude.

And why did he worry about it all of a sudden?

He looked for a pen in his backpack and rested the tip on the skin of his left hand. He didn't know what to say, so he made another drawing, just to test the waters. A dragon with his wings extended.

Then he dropped the pen on the duvet and tried to think about something else. He tried to distract himself from the thought that if they didn't answer him, he was going to get even more upset.

* * *

Zetsu dozed beside him with headphones on. Obito didn't understand how, with the bus jumping with each pot hole on that rugged rural road.

The conversations, the songs and the hustle had died out. Everyone was tired after the traditional camping weekend in Final Valley that the school organized every year as end of term trip.

Half asleep, Obito listened to a song that talked about rainbows and someone who had given up living. He didn't understand why he liked it, but he did. The lively rhythm clashed with the melancholy of the lyrics. That was probably the reason.

When he saw those lines appear in his hand, the first thing Obito thought was that he was hallucinating. He narrowed his eyes staring at it. He blinked several times but the line not only didn't go away, but it kept getting longer, forming a figure.

CObito's heartbeat increased and that rainbow in his hand that disappeared by magic returned to his mind. Could it be...?

"Zetsu!" He shook his friend's arm. "Zetsu! Zetsu! Zetsu!"

"What? What? What?" His friend yawned as he stretched. "Are we there yet?"

Obito put the back of his hand a few inches from Zetsu's face.

"You see? You're not the only one who has a soulmate! I have one too! My soulmate has just drawn a dragon on their hand!"

Zetsu examined the drawing and settled back on the backrest.

"You have drawn it yourself to show off, you can't fool me, Tobi."

"I can't draw and you know it," he replied." And you can try to erase it if you want. It won't come off. My soulmate is so good at drawing... What an artist!"

He always fantasized about having a soulmate and now his smile wouldn't go away.

"Do you have any idea who it can be?"

"It has to be Rin," he replied matter-of-factly. "Do you remember that skull she did on the blackboard? And the anatomically correct heart? Wasn't it the best skull and the best anatomically correct heart you saw in your life?"

Obito couldn't look away from the dragon that Rin had made.

"Rin doesn't like dragons. She likes viscera."

"She likes animals too! That's why she'll become the best veterynary, everything makes sense!"

"Don't fool yourself, Tobi," Zetsu laughed. "Dragons don't exist, she won't be able to dissect them."

"Stop it," Obito complained. "It has to be her. It can't be anyone else."

"Why don't you go and check it then? If it's her, she'll have a dragon drawn in her hand."

Obito didn't get up immediately. An unpleasant and heavy sensation settled in his belly. He didn't know if he wanted to discover or not that Rin might not be his soulmate. He didn't want anyone else but her.

"Scared?" Zetsu scoffed.

"How was it? When you discovered about the other Zetsu,” Obito asked.

"Well, it was a funny thing that my soulmate and me had the same name."

He met the other Zetsu once, and despite having the same name they were like day and night. Obito did't like him, although he would never tell his friend he had been jealous because fate hadn't linked him to anyone else. It was not the first time he fantasized about discovering that Rin was his soulmate, but if reality was different then he wasn't interested.

"This of soulmate thing is bullshit! I can make my own decisions!"

"Your loss," Zetsu lost interest in him and pressed play again. "It's a very different bond if you compare it with ordinary ones. No one can understand it except those who have it."

"How does it feel like?" 

His friend didn't react, Obito took one of his headphones out of his ear and forced him to pay attention. He repeated the question. Zetsu smiled, looking at him with his bright amberish eyes.

"It's like... being incomplete. And finally something fits and you feel complete again."

Obito stood up. He wanted to feel that way. It sounded like something incredible that was worth experiencing.

"I'll be right back."

"Good luck, Tobi," he cooed.

Rin was sitting almost at the end of the bus next to Kakashi. They were reading a book together. If it turned out to be her, there would be nothing Kakashi could do to break the special bond that Zetsu was talking about. Obito clenched his fist, ignoring the jealousy that always resurfaced when Kakashi took all of Rin's attention.

He looked at her hands. They were clean. Something in his stomach twisted painfully.

"Obito! We just had a snack. Do you want homemade biscuits?" Rin offered him the plastic container that smelled like sugar and butter. "I made them."

"And have you had them hidden all this time? That's cruel."

Obito smiled to conceal his bitter disappointment, in an attempt that his friend didn't notice his words were actually a reproach. He wasn't hungry, and any other day he would have cried happiness tears while eating something that Rin had cooked with her cute little hands. Although it didn't matter that much, he was sure she hadn't even thought about him a single time while baking them. He took one and forced himself to take a bite. Sure it was delicious, but at that moment he couldn't tell, even the sweet aroma repelled him. They were made thinking of Kakashi, that sure affected the recipe.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," she said. "Do you like them?"

"Of course."

"Hey!" The girl lowered her gaze to look at his hand. "Have you drawn that dragon yourself? I love it!"

"N-no," Obito stammered, not knowing what to answer. "Not me..."

"His soulmate has drawn it," Kakashi said, who hadn't looked up from his book a single time.

Obito stared at him in silence, thinking about how much Dumbkashi liked to stick his nose into things that weren't his business. Rin turned to look at him.

"Why do you say that, Kakashi-kun?"

"It's more than obvious. The first thing Obito did when he came here was to look at your hand. He came here because that drawing appeared in his hand out of the blue and wanted to know if you had done it,” Kakashi was still reading.

Obito didn't understand how the hell he had realized that. He stepped back, feeling vulnerable and resentful at the same time.

"Shut up, you prick! I don't know what you're talking about!" He raised his voice.

"Aww," Rin entwined her fingers, her cheeks slightly pink. "And you thought of me first. That's so sweet. But I doubt I have a soulmate, I already wrote many times in my hand and I have never received an answer. You are so lucky, Obito."

No, he wasn't.

"Having a soulmate is too romanticized anyway," Kakashi said. "I read a study in which they compared ordinary couples with soulmate couples and the differences weren't that significant. We only idealize them because they are scarce."

Obito bit his lip. He hated when he agreed with him.

"Exactly," he said reluctantly.

"It is as if you cannot be one hundred percent happy if you don't have a soulmate, or if you aren't with your soulmate. Bullshit,” Kakashi added.

"But if you had one... Wouldn't you like to know more about them? Wouldn't you like to know who it is?" Rin asked. "Because I would. And Obito too, otherwise he wouldn't have come here."

"Yes. I was interested but…” Obito muttered, staring at the floor.

"And now I want to know who your soulmate is too! They say they are never far from one. You should start checking if there is someone here with that same drawing in their hand."

Rin stood up in her seat. She staggered, clutching the backrest in front of her when the bus turned left.

"You're gonna fall!" Kakashi was no longer looking at his book.

"Rin, be careful!" Obito exclaimed. "Don't worry! Is not that...!"

"Listen to me everyone! Is there anyone here with a drawing in his hand!?"

"Meeee!" Gai stood up, Kakashi too, looking at them both. Fear made Obito fall backwards, hitting his butt against the floor. "I drew a bottle of water so I don't forget to stay hydrated on a hot day like today!"

Obito breathed in relief. Kakashi sat down again and narrowed his eyes at him. That behavior seemed suspicious. If he didn't wear those half-finger gloves he would confirm his new theory."

"Good. It seems that my soulmate isn't here,” he stood up, massaging his aching butt.

"Don't give up, Obito. Contact him! Kakashi-kun, do you have a pen?"

Obito suddenly regretted taking Zetsu's advice. He had convinced him by telling him he would feel so good and so complete and whatnot."

"Don't! It's okay! I'll do it another day!"

Shit. Everyone was paying attention. Even the driver was going to find out that he had a soulmate.

"I have one."

Kurenai, sitting behind Rin, handed her a pen. Obito tried to intercept it but she quickly moved it out of his reach as she pressed the button to get the tip out.

"Give me your arm, Obito," Rin reached out.

Obito hid his arms behind his back. All his classmates in nearby seats were looking at him and cheering on Rin.

"Stop it now! It's not funny!"

Someone grabbed his arms from behind. Obito struggled trying to let go but failed.

"It's all yours, Rin!"

It was Anko. No one listened. They only encouraged Rin as she brought the pen to his left forearm and started to write "HELLO!" in shaky capitals. Then she tried to make a smiley face, but his struggle made it look more like a macabre smile. Obito made a final effort, grunted and released himself.

"Is everyone having fun!?"

He rubbed his arms. The fingernail marks that Anko had left on them hurt a little. The laughter stopped when everyone realized that his eyes looked watery. A painful feeling of betrayal distressed him.

"Obito," Rin had also lost her smile. "...I'm sorry... We were just..."

"Didn't I tell you to stop!?" He sniffed through his nose and wiped a couple of tears rolling down his cheek.

"I'm sorry! I'm truly sorry!"

Her expression of regret didn't move him.

"I don't care if you're sorry, stop talking to me!" He shouted, turning to return to his seat.

Zetsu was still in the same position he left him, he didn't seem to have heard anything. When he saw him return, he pressed the pause button.

"How was it?"

Obito crossed his arms, avoiding looking at what Rin had written.

"Bad," he said dryly. "It's all your fault."

Zetsu shrugged and hit play again. Deep down, Obito thanked him for not answering.


	2. Chapter 2

Deidara blinked. The black line forming on the skin of his forearm made his pulse quicken. A smile grew on his face for the first time that day, but it vanished again when he read the whole message.

"HELLO!"

Next to the word there was a smiley face. Deidara squinted at the uneven, shaky text. He always had imagined his soulmate as a high school student, but no one could have such an atrocious handwriting after a certain age. He might as well be a five or six year old brat. Maybe feeling down had led him to fantasize too much about it.

He laid on the mattress, staring at his room's ceiling.

There had to be a reason why fate had linked him to them. And besides, they were possibly the only person in the world who Deidara didn't hate at that moment. The itch of curiosity, the unanswered questions nagging him, getting louder in his head every time he tried to ignore them.

He swapped the pen to his left hand. Being ambidextrous was handy. He wouldn't have to wipe his arm clean yet.

_"How old are you?"_ He wrote on the back of his right hand.

* * *

It wasn't the answer he expected, but at least it helped him forget about his previous humiliation. He wondered why his soulmate was so interested in knowing his age of all things.

_"16"_

Obito waited patiently for the answer, which didn't take long anyway.

_"Well, your handwriting is terrible."_

He pouted, starting to think everyone had conspired to make fun of him at the same time.

_"That's because I'm on a bus. Besides, I didn't write it. I didn't even want to write anything. It was a friend of mine and now me and her are in bad terms."_

He struggled but he managed to fit everything in. Obito wondered if it was okay to tell him that information. He had sounded rude, childish and passive-aggressive and could have hurt the feelings of his soulmate. He never stopped checking his arms, looking for changes.

_"That makes two of us then. Me and my friend are in bad terms too."_

Obito thought it was a curious coincidence that the same thing had happened to them at the same time. A dozen different questions crossed his mind. Who was the person on the other side? Where did they live? What was their name? How did they look like? Suddenly he wanted to know everything at once, but for that he would have to write a one hundred questions test on his entire body.

He forced himself to calm down and take it easy. He could start with something simple.

* * *

_"And you? How old are you?"_

Deidara wrote the number "13" on the palm of his left hand. Then he tried to focus on something else, but failed. As soon as he felt the tingling sensation on his forearm he watched as the lines formed. It looked pretty, almost artistic.

_"Then you are still in junior high."_

He didn't like to imagine things, but he felt a hint of disappointment in that last sentence. He wished his soulmate were a boy, it would be so cool. But whatever they were, he wasn't going to allow him make fun of him.

He heard a knock on the door. Deidara ignored it.

_"Obviously."_

He decorated the message with a couple of cross-popping veins, like those that appeared on cartoon characters whenever they were angry.

"Deidara... Are you there?"

It was his mother.

"Leave me alone, hm!"

He wished the rest of the world stopped bothering him. He was spending quality time with his soulmate and the rest of the world could go to hell.

"Kurotsuchi is here... She wants to apologize to you."

Watching as new words formed in his skin, Deidara didn't reply immediately.

"I'm not so mad at my friend anymore."

Deidara didn't have his own either, but he was too proud to accept it.

"Okay, I'll go in a minute," he said absent-minded, as he wrote his reply.

_"Are you from Iwa? We can meet now."_

If he could, he would ditch Kurotsuchi to hang out with his high school student soulmate. That would teach her to root for him next time, for a change.

* * *

"IWAGAKURE? That's in a different country!"

Obito had never been to Iwa, in fact that was the closest he had ever been to the Land of Earth in his life. So much that he could see it just by glancing out the window across the river that separated it from the Land of Fire. But Iwa was about five hours by car from the border and eight from Konoha.

There was no way on Earth that they'd let him go alone. Least of all to meet a junior high kid he had never seen in his life. Even if they were his soulmate.

The reply took a while, and the dragon started to disappear. Obito thought about begging him not to do it, he liked that dragon. But it was too late. The lines blurred and faded and a few seconds later, his hand was clean again.

"I thought soulmates usually live nearby."

"Me too. I'm from Konoha in the Land of Fire."

He wrote it on his right forearm, his hand shaking as the pen glided across his skin. Obito shook his head, using his left hand wasn't working. His sudden desire to be with the person on the other side increased.

"That is far away" Obito had to squint to read the words that grew tinier and tinier, in any available gap. "My mother won't let me go but I can escape."

"We are coming back from a day trip to Final Valley. Think we are not as far away as we normally would be."

It would be better if Obito went to Iwa instead of the other way around. His soul mate would never be able to go on a train to another country on his own being so young. What if they got lost? Obito was already worrying.  
"I decided I'll go during winter break."

"Attention everyone! We're going to take a short break at a nearby service station," Minato-sensei said.

Perfect. He would wash his arms there, he had ran out of space. While the bus left the highway towards a secondary road, Obito looked for a gap on his arms where he could carry on writing. But before he could start, another message appeared.

"What's your name?"

Several of his classmates pointed outside the window. Obito saw a road sign saying "Kannabi Bridge - 500 meters" outside. The famous stone bridge that connected both countries.

He rolled his sleeve up, leaving a scrunched up ball of fabric near the shoulder on which a hand landed softly a couple of seconds later. Obito flinched at the contact, invading Zetsu's personal space, who pushed him back to his seat.

"Obito... I'm so sorry about earlier," Rin's voice sounded upset. "I didn't want to make you feel bad."

He looked at her and she looked at his arms full of words and scribbles. He hid them in an attempt to keep Rin from reading what he wrote about her.

"I'm busy now," he said defensively. "We'll talk later."

First he had to wash his arms and erase the evidence. Rin nodded. Obito had the impression she was still trying to read his arms, even though he was covering himself.

"It's okay. Come find me when we arrive."

She spun around and walked away. Obito didn't say anything. It hurt to be in bad terms with her, but talking to his soulmate was more exciting. He should have contacted him before. Excited about exchanging information about their identities, Obito wrote an 'O'. He would write it in capitals to make it look better.

That was his last thought before the violent jolt that overturned the vehicle. All his classmates screamed at once, dread and adrenaline running through his body as the bus plunged into free fall along with some bridge fragments.

* * *

The bed shook a little for about fifteen seconds. The tiny sculptures on the shelf clinked against each other. One of them fell and crashed against the floor.

Deidara jumped up and collected the fragments one by one. Outside on the street, several parked car alarms had gone off at the same time. The cacophony of beeps prevented him from catching what his mother was shouting from the living room.

Everyone there in Iwagakure was used to low intensity seismic activity. It happened from time to time.

He left the broken figure on the table and opened the door. His soulmate hadn't answered him yet, apart from that "O" he had written right above the elbow. Deidara hoped he wasn't trying to make him beg for it.

"Deidara, can you bring the dustpan and brush from the utility room? One of the plants fell after the earthquake."

When he reached the living room with everything in his hand, he saw one of the ficus lying on the floor, soil scattered through the tiles and the pot split in two. Kurotsuchi grabbed his forearm and leaned forward.

"What have you written in your arms?" Deidara pulled away.

"So nosy! That's a private conversation!"

Deidara crouched down.

"Calm down, I don't care. I'm sure you talked shit about me for what happened today, you are so predictable."

"Yes. And?" He spat, brushing the soil onto the dustpan.

His mother came back into the living room with a new pot. Deidara removed any broken pieces of the old plant pot and emptied the dustpan into the new one.

"Then you finally decided to contact them. Remember it was me who helped, even if it was to call me names," when he didn't answer, she went on. "So, who's your soulmate? Do we know them?"

"They go to high school and live in Konoha, hm," he said, puffing with pride. "Mum, can we go to Konoha during winter break?"

"Do you think you deserve it after how you talked to me earlier?" She replied.

Deidara pursed his lips, looking at his arm out of the corner of his eye. The 'O' was still there, untouched. He had left the pen in his room, but as soon as he could, he would demand for explanations.

"Then I'll go on my own."

"There is a simpler way to do it, you can apologize and if you study and behave well in school I can go with you."

Kurotsuchi stifled a laugh, "Deidara-nii never does things in the most logical way."

"And when are you going to apologize to me, hm Kuro!? You're complaining because I don't do it, but neither do you."

"Sorry," Deidara looked at her. She shrugged. "You see? I'm still alive. Hidan is an asshole anyway."

Now he had no excuse. But the idea of meeting "O" attracted him in a strange way. He had to go no matter what.

"Okay, I'm sorry I yelled at you, mom," he reluctantly muttered.

"And you'll behave better from now on."

"Okay."

"And you'll study harder or no trip for you," her friend said.

"This is not you business!"

"You're so impatient to kiss your soulmate on the lips," she sing-sang, nudging him.

Damn. And she said it in front of his mother. He wouldn't forget that one. Sure at some point, he'd have the chance to say something embarrassing in front of Kurotsuchi's parents.

"Deidara, you shouldn't go so fast," said his mother. "You're thirteen!"

He didn't know if she was joking or serious. Maybe a little of both.

"Are they a boy or a girl?" Kurotsuchi asked.

"I don't know, hm. They haven't told me yet. Back in a minute."

Deidara rose to go fetch the pen and write a new message.

"Hey! Is it for today or tomorrow?"

Tapping his foot, he waited for some changes on his skin, but when his mother called him he went back to the living room. They placed the plant in the new plant pot and filled it with soil. By the time they finished, he'd probably have an answer.

"You have to bring your soulmate to Iwa. I want to meet them, ”Kurotsuchi said.

"You are the first one in the family to have a soulmate, Deidara. Tell them that this house's doors will always be open for them."

A mischievous smile twisted his lips upwards. It felt good to get some support. He forgot about all the previous drama. Now he just needed the damn reply. Deidara checked his arm again.

"And now let's wash our hands," his mother said once they finished cleaning. "Do you have homework, Deidara?"

"Yes," his friend rushed to say.

He cast a sideways glance at her, "do you think I was going to lie about it and waste my chance to go to Konoha?"

"Just in case," she stuck out her tongue.

Deidara decided to make space on his arms. He noticed that on the right one, which had been full of scribbles written with an untrained left hand until then, some areas had been erased. "O" must have washed it.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ANSWER!"

He wasted a significant part of the remaining empty space writing that, but an unbearable impatience had led him to do so. He grunted, eyes trained on the lonely letter as he grabbed his backpack, settled in the living room and lent a sheet and pen to Kurotsuchi to start doing their homework together.

As time went by, a strange restlessness made it harder and harder to concentrate on his task. He couldn't put his finger on it but there was something there, something that wasn't mere impatience. Like a feeling of foreboding that came out of nowhere.

Even the telly was getting on his nerves.

"Why don't they shut up?" Deidara mumbled, fed up of that shitty dorama. Of all those idiots crying and shouting at each other.

"Why don't you change the channel?" Kurotsuchi replied. "They're giving me a headache too."

"Good idea, hm."

Deidara took the remote control and pressed a random button.

"... eight hundred forces, including the ANBU unit are working against the clock right now. They are currently rescuing those who have been trapped in the rubble, aiding the injured and thousands of people more who have had to leave their homes, fearing that they would fall on them... "

"Hooooly fuck..." Kurotsuchi muttered.

"Mum! Come here, fast!" Deidara shouted.

She left the workshop, wiping the clay off her hands with a cloth. The TV presenter kept talking.

"... this is the second devastating earthquake in the southeast of the Land of Earth so far this year. Replicas are expected to be frequent during the following days..."

"My God... These poor people are having a hell of a year," his mother said.

The TV hostess went live to a correspondent. The three of them watched it in silence. Kurotsuchi covered her mouth when she saw the fallen bridge. The foreboding he had felt since he left the room intensified.

"...from the Kannabi bridge on the border with the Land of Fire where a section of the bridge of about ninety meters has collapsed. Six vehicles including two trucks and a bus have fallen into the void..."

In an involuntary gesture, Deidara stood up. He could feel the throbbing of his own heart pounding against his ribcage.

"Mum, where is the Valley of the End?"

"The Valley of the End...? The one with the giant statues? That's in the Land of Fire. Now that I think about it, they must have felt the earthquake too."

It didn't have to be that. His soulmate was probably busy. That was what Deidara repeated in his head over and over and yet, his fists clenched, his arms started shaking.

Maybe they had felt that earthquake. Maybe they had to stop by the road and they were too shaken to think about writing. It had been simultaneous. He had stopped receiving messages right when the earthquake made the ground shiver.

He wrote again on his arm, his handwriting turning desperate, uneven.

"GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS YOU CAN"

He could hear the sound of his own breathing, shaky and shallow. The collapsed bridge was on television again. The members of the ANBU unit cleaning debris, trying to rescue people trapped in that tangle of metal, rock and asphalt. The correspondent said that according to the registration plate, the bus came from the Land of Fire.

It could not be.

It simply could not be.

His head started spinning. It couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. That guy's words no longer made sense in his head. They said that when something very bad happened to one's soulmate, the other one felt it.

Was he feeling it? Was his soulmate there under all that rubble?

_Dead?_

He had just met his soulmate and lost it all in the same day.

"Deidara-nii... Why are you crying?"

He turned his neck towards his friend who stared at him bewildered.

"I'm not crying!"

Deidara brought a hand to his cheek. It was wet. Yes, he was crying. That stranger was nothing to him. Nothing. The grief, the pain nothing made sense. It wasn't natural. That wasn't like him. He did not cry. It was that bond with which destiny had saddled him.

A sudden, oppressive anger made him run back to his room. Now he was panting, he could barely breathe and the tears that didn't stop flowing blurred the world. His legs gave way beneath him, as his back slipped little by little through the door full of art posters, until he sat on the floor. His fist squeezed desperately the fabric of his t-shirt right over his heart.

He wanted to get rid of that inhuman pain that poisoned his whole being, but he didn't know how. All he could do was bawl and scream, as he regretted having written that message.

As he wished never have found out about the person on the other side, whose passage through his life had been as fleeting as destructive.

* * *

Obito felt too weak to even lift his whole body. When he opened his eyes, he noticed that the left one was covered. His entire face was in fact wrapped in something, except for his right eye and his mouth from which a tube was sticking out.

He emitted a faint groan and raised his head. His right arm was in plaster. His left one had words written all over but trying to focus his sight to read them made him dizzy. He eyed the tube on his arm connected to an IV bag. The last thing he remembered was talking to Rin right when his soulmate asked about his name. Had the bus had an accident? He wondered where the others were.

His head dropped on the pillow again. Obito didn't feel any pain but the numbness, the dizziness wouldn't let him think straight. He had to be sedated. A man with a green mask appeared in his field of vision. He could barely understand what he was saying.

"... in the intensive care unit," then more slurred words... "You're ready now to- " more nonsense. "Keep resting. You'll be fine."

Obito's eye closed.

Some hours or perhaps days passed until he opened it again and noticed he was in a different place.

"You're alive," Kakashi was sitting on the next bed. His face was bandaged too. An arm cast in a sling and the saddest ever look in his eye. "Your family came to see you this morning. They left some stuff for you. They were talking about moving you to a private hospital as soon as possible."

At the foot of his bed, Obito saw a bouquet of daisies of different colors, boxes of chocolates and several envelopes, surely those were 'get well soon' cards. It wasn't as if they were so close, but his family was too large. He was about to comment on it when he remembered that Kakashi was an orphan who lived on his own and the foot of his bed was completely empty.

But he suddenly forgot about that when he tried to move and a dull ache left him paralyzed.

"What happened!? Are you Ok!?" Obito said as soon as he recovered.

"Yes. I only lost one eye and broke my arm. Only," he said, his voice flat. "You too. We've been lucky, or so they say."

"I also... broke my legs... right?" He felt them heavy, as if they were in plaster as well as his arm. "And Rin? Do you know anything about her? And the others?"

"Zetsu will be discharged today," he carried on. "He only had minor burns and some scratches. Gai lost mobility in his legs. Iruka is still in intensive care, also Genma and Kurenai.

"What about Rin!?" Obito would lose his temper very soon if Kakashi kept dodging the question.

Ignoring the pain, he sat up.

"You shouldn't get upset like that. You're still weak."

"Kakashi, I'm serious! Where is Rin!?" His classmate laid on his bed, avoiding his gaze. Obito wouldn't calm down until he knew she was fine. "Why don't you want to tell me!?"

He looked at the ceiling, "if you don't calm down, they'll sedate you again."

A sudden surge of adrenaline made him regain some strenght. He'd go find his friend himself if necessary.

"Is everything fine here?"

Two nurses entered the room. Obito tore off the sheet he was wrapped in only to discover that his right leg ended as a stump just below the knee.

He screamed loud enough to be heard in the entire hospital. Obito breathed in and kept screaming over and over, his eyes fixed on the bandaged stump. Both nurses ran to his side, and a third one came in running to grab him and lay him back in bed.

"What happened!? What the fuck happened!? Why...!?"

They told him something about an earthquake as they crossed the Kannabi Bridge. They said it collapsed and something about him being lucky.

"Obito dear, listen. At least you are alive. Do you know that many of your classmates are gone?"

One injection later, his distress started dissipating.

"How... is Rin...?" He muttered, eyes filling with tears.

He wouldn't make that question anymore. He knew the answer. Rin was gone. Rin was dead. She was dead and the last thing he had said to her was 'leave me alone'. Loud tearsran down his face as he relived in his head their last interaction. The weight of her hand on his shoulder, her eyes full of regret, the pressure of the pen on his arm as she wrote 'HELLO'. She standing on the seat. The taste of her cookies. How could he think they weren't that good just because she didn't made them for him?

Why didn't he cherish her company more while she was there? In a second, he had lost everything he cared about.

And the bastards dared to say he was lucky.

* * *

"You have to go to school."

"Go away," he spat.

"I allowed you to stay home on Friday, but you have to go back."

Deidara didn't feel like it. He had barely eaten. He had barely left his room since the earthquake. His hair was greasy and matted, he hadn't even changed his clothes.

In an attempt to comfort him, his mother had searched the internet. She read page after page by his side. She discovered that a soulmate link broken by death, caused a depressive disorder in the survivor.

She had read aloud cases of people who never got over their grief. As the days passed, Deidara's fear of staying like that forever increased. He tried to snap out of his sorrow, but every time he looked at all the unanswered messages, he fell back into it. Sometimes he searched on his phone for news about the accident. He looked for someone whose name began with 'O' in every single list of victims. He only found someone called Osamu from the Land of Earth, but there were several missing people who got dragged by the stream.

Or maybe, it wasn't even his soulmate's intention to write their name. Maybe they were writing something else, like "only if you tell me yours first". Or perhaps it wasnt an 'O' but a 'Q' or a badly done 'D'. It wasn't a reliable clue.

Abumi, Zaku

Gekko, Hayate

Kato, Dan, a teacher

Kinuta, Dosu

Namikaze, Minato, another teacher

Nohara, Rin

Sarutobi, Asuma

Senju, Nawaki

Tsuchi, Kin

He didn't know what to do to stop rereading that list or searching for information about the victims on social networks. Or about funerals. If his soulmate wasn't among the missing, they had to be one of them.

Deidara felt the matress sink when his mother sat down.

"Do you know who are you hurting the most by letting it consume you?" Deidara remained silent, waiting for the answer. "Yourself."

He knew she was right. Life was short, losing his soulmate had made it evident. He couldn't waste it lying down and feeling sorry for himself. To think otherwise was against everything he had always believed. The hard part was to snap out of that mindset.

"Do not waste your present or your future because of something you cannot change. It is healthy to take a few days off, but there is a difference between that and sink deeper and I won't let you fall any lower."

"Mum..." he didn't want to. He didn't want to sink deeper but grief was dragging him down, suffocating all his attempts to face it. He had never felt that way before. "What can I do?"

"Start by taking a bath," she replied. "I'll fill the tub for you. We'll think what to do next when you come out."

Plan after plan, Deidara managed to get away from that bottomless pit.

He thought a lot about his soulmate's funeral. In a piece of paper, he drew a coffin surrounded by bouquets of chrysanthemums and a faceless boy lying in it. He may have already been cremated and buried but Deidara wrote one last message on his arm. Even if it was in vain. He had promised his mother he wouldn't write on his arm again, but he couldn't help it.

"See you someday"

And next to it, a dragon crossing under a rainbow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is, I guess, my inability to assume all the soulmates stuff.  
If soulmates were real and you had one would you think that what you feel for them is fake? I am curious to know since sometimes it feels that way.


	3. Chapter 3

"Time for your meds!"

Zetsu left a saucer with several different pills and a glass of water on the side table next to Obito.

Obito did not react. After a month, he knew that complaining wouldn't take him anywhere. Relatives he didn't even know he had kept visiting him. Madara took him from one specialist to another, trying to get him one of the best orthopedic legs. Obito was sick of the hassle, but once his meds kicked in, his mind slowed to a crawl and nothing seemed to matter anymore.

"I want to go back to Grandma's house," Obito said. "I miss her."

"Your grandmother can't take care of you, they've told you a thousand times, you silly," replied Zetsu. "Madara-sama hired me to do it for her. There's no need for you to go back."

Obito was on the brink of ending one of his oldest friendships. He wanted to yell at him, send that damn saucer flying and demand that they stopped doing whatever they wanted with him.

"I want to go back to_ my_ house," Obito stated.

Zetsu clicked his tongue several times.

"This is your house now, don't be selfish. It is your grandmother's wish that you stay with the person who can give you the best care."

"I can fend for myself!" He shouted.

"Nope, not until your arm is completely healed," Zetsu replied. "And you know it."

Obito's frustration was making his blood boil. His vision blurred.

"Are you hungry?" Obito replied by shaking his head. "Thirsty?" He didn't even bother doing it again that time. "Need a wee?"

"Shut up."

His hands were shaking. No. He knew too well that he couldn't fend for himself.

"I'm just trying to make you laugh. You need to cheer up."

"I don't want you to make me laugh! I want you to shut up and never open your mouth again! I want you to let me go home!"

Zetsu did not react to his scorn. Obito could not bring himself to feel remorse. After all, his friend still had both of his legs.

"Obito... Have a bit of patience. The world will keep spining and time heals everything." No it doesn't, Obito thought, he wasn't going to grow a new leg. "And little by little you will recover and adapt to your new self."

And that was even less likely to happen. Rin wouldn't come back to life. Part of him still believed that it was all a misunderstanding and she would knock on the door at any moment, looking for him. They didn't even let Obito go to her funeral.

"Until then, open your mouth," Zetsu insisted.

It took a few seconds for Obito to obey. He hid the first pill under his tongue and took a sip of water. Then he did the same with the second and the other three, taking a deep breath when he was done.

"Actually, I want something to eat," Obito muttered, staring at the floor.

"Good idea. That will lift your mood.” Zetsu got up. "Let me see what's in the kitchen, be right back!"

As soon as he was out of sight, Obito spat the medicines onto the palm of his hand and dropped them on the floor.

"Rin."

Obito's head was filled with the sound of her laughter, the warmth of his hand in hers. A tear ran down his face, and that poisonous pain that didn't go away completely since the accident, intensified. It started in his throat and spread to his belly and Obito was tired of not being able to eat, sleep, or think because of it.

_He wouldn't believe it until he saw it._

Obito grabbed the crutches and letting out a grunt, he leaned on his good arm to get up off the armchair. It wouldn't take long for Zetsu to return and he had to be careful not to be seen by Guruguru who was outside tidying the garden.

Looking over his shoulder, Obito went to the hall and managed to put his coat on. A fiery pain spread through his bad arm after several steps. Obito clenched his teeth and walked out, barefoot and leaving the street door wide open.

Perhaps he would regret later to be so harsh on his healing body, but he was going to see Rin's tomb no matter what.

As he passed the cobbled plaza near the cemetery, his crutch got stuck between two of the stones and Obito had to support the full weight of his body on his arms to stop himself from falling.

The excruciating pain made him scream. Obito stood there, panting and focusing on containing his nausea. The cemetery looked more unreachable than ever. He had been an utter idiot, going out like that when he couldn't even walk. His chin trembled as wiped the tears in his eye. A busker sang and played the guitar near the zebra crossing, his instrument case open on the ground in front of him.

After noticing that all the benches were taken, Obito decided to sit against wall of the fountain. He took one step and when he recovered from the effort, he took another. By the time he reached the wall, he was panting hard and wishing it were him under that grave and not Rin. He put the crutches aside, threw his jacket on the floor and sat on top of it. Then he burst into tears. Soon his face was wet and his nose too blocked to breathe through. And somewhere to his left, the busker song served as soundtrack of the moment.

Something small fell on his jacket. Hiccuping, Obito took it. It was a ten ryo coin. Before he could process what was going on, a fifty ryo one landed near his stump. Then a hundred ryo bill and a few more coins. Obito tore the bill to shreds. They were taking him for a beggar. The guitar guy was scowling at him and instead of feeling bad for him, Obito glared back.

"Son." Obito stared at the old lady's shoes standing next to him. "Would you like to have dinner with us today?"

His fists clenched.

"I am not your son," Obito spat. "And I'm not a beggar! I don't want your damn money!"

Obito took all the coins and threw them away from him. He was starting to attract more attention.

"Go away, stop looking at me!"

"Obito. What are you doing here like this?"

Obito spun toward the voice and saw Gai in his wheelchair and Kakashi behind him.

"I..."

He struggled to speak, unable to stop his hiccuping. Kakashi passed him a tissue as soon as he saw him wipe his face and nose on his sleeve.

"You were going to see Rin's grave. Right?" Said his friend.

"You could start pretending sometimes that you don't know everything," Obito replied.

The passers-by who had gathered around him started to disperse. Kakashi shook his head.

"How in heaven did you think this was a good idea? Doctors told you to rest. Why didn't you ask me for help at least? I could have taken you.” Obito did not answer because if he did, his voice would break again. "You have to go home."

"I have an idea!" Gai interjected. "Kakashi, you take your friend where he wants to go. I'll wait here."

Obito observed his grin, hesitating between thanking Gai or getting even more offended.

"Are you sure you will be okay?" Kakashi asked.

"Worry not! It's a nice day, and the music is good.” With astonishing ease, Gai maneuvered himself until he was sitting on the edge of the fountain. "Also, the friends of my eternal rival are my friends too."

Gai showed them a thumbs up. Obito looked at the ground.

"Thanks, Gai. Come on, get on the chair.” His friend tugged on his good arm. Obito did not complain as he eased him into the wheelchair. "I'll be back as soon as I leave him at home."

"No problem. Bye!" Gai waved at them. Then Kakashi turned the chair around and Obito lost sight of him. He waited until they were a few meters away to speak.

"Your friend. I see he still hasn't even bothered to learn my name." Obito tried to bite his tongue, but failed.

"Gai suffers from amnesia," Kakashi replied. "He has forgotten many things and many people. His memory will never be the same again."

The heavy feeling in his chest got bigger. Obito was aware he was being too callous.

"Sorry," he muttered.

They crossed another zebra crossing and for a good part of the way none of them talked. Now that they were several minutes away from the cemetery, Obito didn't know if he really wanted to see Rin's grave. If he still had both his legs, he would run away and wouldn't stop until he got home. He had had that idea in his head for weeks and at that moment, he became aware of how hard reality was going to hit him.

Obito no longer wanted to know.

"There is something I want to tell you," Kakashi broke the silence. "Gai is my soulmate. I suspected it, but what happened made me decide to bring up the subject."

Of course. Of course Kakashi's soulmate was going to be on his doorstep and his was in another country. Of course his soulmate was going to be one of his closest friends while Obito had only known his for ten minutes. He had no idea why it pissed him off. He should be happy for Kakashi and instead, he was dying to remind him of how quickly he seemed to be forgetting about the girl who was in love with him.

Rin's grave was no different or special from the others. Just a small block of black marble with her name on it. The more he looked at the grave, the more weightless his body seemed to become, the more his limbs tingled. Obito thought that going to the cemetery would drive him mad, but somehow a blanket of calm muffled his emotions. As if that wasn't happening to him or it was all a dream from which he would soon awaken.

"Are you okay?"

Obito had even forgotten that Kakashi was there.

"No... I don't know." Obito reached out and stroked the cold marble. "Don't think so."

"Obito," Kakashi waited for an answer that never came. "Everything will be fine."

A burst of rage surged through his veins.

"Everything will be fine!?" Obito turned to look at his friend. "Maybe for you, who seem to have turned the page so quickly, everything will be fine. But no. Nothing will be fine. Rin is dead! My eye is gone, and so is my foot! Nothing will be fine!"

"Please don't shout. This is a sacred place.” Obito clenched his jaw until his teeth ached. "Accepting the soul bond with Gai has helped me. It has helped us both." Obito shook his head. "You also have a soul mate," Kakashi continued. "Believe me, it will give you a lot of comfort if-"

"You are wrong. I have nothing,” Obito cut him off. His hand slipped across the smooth marble, traces of a faded drawing on his wrist still there. "I will not accept anything from a fate that has taken so many things from me in one go. Rin was my friend. She was always there for me and I was there for her. That was a real bond. This pseudo affection that I feel every time I think of my soul mate is not. And I don't want it."

That time, Kakashi remained silent. Obito's hand did not move from the headstone until his friend muttered that it was time to leave and pulled the wheelchair back.

* * *

...

* * *

A stinging pain in his back awoke Obito. He twisted his arms to feel his shoulder blades, but didn't find anything out of the ordinary. He wondered what the fuck was going on. Thas was new. One more ailment to add to the list. Perfect.

Everything stopped all of a sudden and a soothing sense of relief spread through his body. Obito sat down on the sofa where he had fallen asleep. Since he started taking those painkillers, he felt drowsy all the time. He'd have to speak to his doctor again.

The pain returned a few moments later. That time it felt as if someone was dragging something pointy through sunburnt skin. Grunting, Obito removed his shirt and felt his back again. And again, he found nothing. Then the pain stopped and Obito took a weary breath.

"Please not again... Please not..."

But it came back. Obito sprang to his feet. He hissed as the stump protested when the full weight of his body fell onto the prosthesis. He limped into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. A light blue dragon had appeared between his shoulder blades. The same one that his soulmate drew on his hand as a farewell message. The black line slowly overlapping the blue one. So, that was the source of his pain, the tattooing needle.

"Dammit!" He muttered through gritted teeth, giving a half hearted punch to the wall.

When he spun around, Obito lost his balance and had to hold on to the sink to avoid slipping. He reached out to lower the toilet lid and sit on it with a groan. He was going to have that picture forever on his back just because his damn soulmate couldn't leave the past behind. How many years had passed already? Six? Seven? Obito was dead to them and a stupid tattoo wasn't going to change anything.

Something hurt in his chest every time he thought something similar but he knew it was all fake. It didn't make sense to care so much for a person he had never seen.

And the pain stopped. And came back. And stopped. And Obito thought that the day he ended the curse of fate that had ensnared them both would come. A year at most. It wasn't up to him, but Orochimaru was on the right track to finding the switch that would shut down their sould bond forever.

Then, they would both be free.

* * *

Leaning against the door frame, her mother stared at the suitcase.

"Don't get sentimental, hm," said Deidara.

"I still can speak to my contacts at Iwagakure University. I know the course is about to start but I'm sure they'll accept you if I ask them,” his mother said.

Deidara looked at his sculptures on top of the desk. Then he pursed his lips.

"Nowadays you have all the information you need in the Internet, the key is to know where to find and carry a routine. I can do both,” Deidara replied.

He stuffed his e-reader into the backpack along with his tablet. Behind him, his mother sighed.

"I don't know if I supported you enough."

Again the same old story. Deidara spun around.

"No one has said I'm going to put art aside, hm. I will only combine it with other things." Lately, his mother only had pity glances for him. "I need to do this. You know that."

"Every time I remember that you're going to be their human guinea pig, I think this is terribly wrong."

Deidara took the pamphlet they sent him from Senju Institute of Destiny and Karma and once again examined the photographs and illustrations that accompanied the text.

"I'm going to learn. And it turns out that studying my case helps them progress, hm.” Deidara folded the paper and put it inside his backpack. "Everything is fine."

Looking at the time on his phone, Deidara saw he still had half an hour until his mother took him to the airport.

"I'll go for a walk before we leave," he said.

"Remember not to be late," his mother replied.

Deidara didn't take his bag or his phone, just the keys and a thin jacket. That would be the last time he would see the streets of his neighborhood in a while. If all went well, Deidara would stay in Konoha. He thought about going to Kurotsuchi's place but saying farewell the day before hadn't been easy, and Deidara didn't want to go through that twice.

On his way to the park, Deidara saw the person he least wanted to see. He glanced at Hidan, walking in the opposite direction and his lip twisted. His former classmate was frowning and Deidara, used to his arrogant grins whenever he was looking for trouble, thought that expression wasn't like him at all.

Hidan stopped when he reached his height and followed him with his eyes as he passed. Deidara glared at him when he realized that the dickhead was following him.

"So, in the end you're joining that blasphemer club, aren't you?"

Deidara ignored him and carried on, struggling to control his growing irritation. At the end of the street, he stopped and Hidan did too.

"Stop stalking me," Deidara said, raising his voice.

Hidan moved to stand in front of him. 

"Actually, I was going to your house right now. But, praise Lord Jashin, he brought you to me instead."

"Fuck off, Hidan. You and your god, hm,” Deidara tried to surround him but Hidan cut him off again. "I'm not in the mood to put up with you."

Deidara changed directions after trying to pass several times.

"Deidei always gushing about becoming artist just to end up in that filthy place. Wasn't it your dream?"

"I'm sick of explaining it," Deidara retorted. "Also, I don't need to justify my decisions to you. I'm actually glad I don't have to see your retarded face anymore."

Hidan stepped forward, shamelessly invading his personal space.

"You haven't decided shit," he said, giving him a push. Deidara pushed him back, hard enough to knock him to the floor. Hidan laughed out loud. "You mad? You are just a soul widower desperate to get rid of his pain instead of accepting it in his life."

A few passers by stopped to look.

"Shut your trap!" Deidara grunted, kicking him on the side.

Hidan grabbed his leg and knocked him down. Deidara used his arms to cushion the impact, grunting as he hit the cold pavement.

"I only want to save you from eternal hell, you braindead fuck."

Deidara got punched in the lip and in return, he punched Hidan's nose and left eye. Then, several people intervened to separate them.

"Shove your eternal hell up your ass, hm!"

Deidara struggled to free himself, but failed. Instead, they glared at each other. A trickle of blood slid from one of Hidan's nostrils and Deidara couldn't wait to make the other one bleed too. His lip throbbed and tasted alkaline and Hidan would pay for it.

"You think yourself above fate, huh?" Both of them refused to break eye contact before the other. "Well, at least I tried to warn you. Get fucked."

Hidan stirred to free himself and once he did it, he walked away. Deidara's blood boiled.

"Come back here, you clown! And get off me this is not your business!" Deidara kicked and twisted, then more people stepped in to grab his arms. "I'm going to punch your face until I break my knuckles! Not even your mother will recognize you after I tear you to shreds, hm!"

Hidan left and Deidara, still high on adrenaline and murderous rage, ended up listening to those who asked him to calm down and leave. He'd come up with an excuse for his mother as to why his lip was split on the way home.

* * *

While he waited for his suitcase to appear on the baggage belt, Deidara checked his phone. He had a message from his mother and another from his network operator.

"Welcome to the Land of Fire. Make calls: 3 ryo per minute. Receive calls: 1 ryo per minute. SMS: 2 ryo. Internet 6 ryo per Mb. VAT included."

Deidara snorted, shaking his head. He hadn't been there for ten minutes and they were already trying to scam him. The first thing he would do would be to buy a local SIM.

Then he checked his mother's message.

"If you don't feel comfortable in Konoha you can always come back. Love you."

Deidara had already lost count of how many times he had heard that phrase. But despite the fact that no one in his environment believed that the Senju Institute of Destiny and Karma could solve his problem, but giving up wasn't in Deidara's plan. He wouldn't be able to live in peace until he didn't learn all about soul bonds.

He recognized his black suitcase with red clouds as soon as it appeared behind the curtain. Tired of standing there, Deidara made his way among the other travelers to get where it was. He earned a few dirty looks but didn't apologize. Walking fast, he followed the arrows indicating the location of the exit and crossed a large automatic gate.

The first thing he noticed was the vending machine and how much his parched mouth craved some water, even though they were three times more expensive than in any other store. But before that, a cardboard sign with his name written in it caught his attention. A guy with glasses and ash-colored hair was holding it. That had to be the guy he had been speaking to. Deidara made a beeline toward him.

"Mister Yakushi?" Deidara asked.

The guy put down the piece of cardboard.

"Welcome aboard Deidara. Nice to meet you at last. You can call me Kabuto, we like to keep a friendly vibe," he said, nodding a little. "What happened to your lip, if it's not too much to ask?"

Deidara didn't like people whose smile didn't reach their eyes, but he didn't go to Konoha to make friends.

"It is too much to ask."

Shrugging, the guy folded the cardboard several times and put it in the trash.

"A taxi is waiting for us. We'll talk on the way to Konoha," Kabuto said turning around to head for the exit.

Taxis in Konoha were black with a horizontal yellow line. Deidara left his luggage in the boot, sat next to Kabuto and closed the door. His companion and the driver chatted for a while. Deidara ignored them, staring at the boring, unattractive landscape of the highway. Without connection he couldn't do much anyway.

"We couldn't wait to finally meet you, Deidara," Kabuto said. "Orochimaru has already done a list of questions he wants to ask you. He has been talking about you all morning."

Deidara looked at him.

"Good, because I have a lot of questions for him too, hm."

"Hmm," Kabuto nodded. "I have worked for Orochimaru for many years and have seen many, many extraordinary cases. But it's the first time we've seen a soul widower who has overcome broken bond disorder."

"Maybe I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for my mother, hm," Deidara recalled the day she came home with a stack of Dr. Tobirama Senju books. "But nowadays, those with BBD can lead a normal life."

He wanted to prove to Kabuto that after all those years reading Dr. Senju's books he knew what he was talking about.

"With medication," Kabuto said. "And some of its side effects are not that desirable. You told me you are not taking anything."

Deidara shook his head, proud of himself.

"I never needed to take anything."

"Your case can help us discover new treatments for soul widowers and see everything from a different angle," Kabuto unzipped his bag and pulled out a rather slim book. "And in return you will get the answers you are looking for."

Deidara took it and looked at the cover. The book talked about the contents of the course modules. He also found more photos of the facilities. At the back, he read the exorbitant price, which thanks to the scholarship he would not have to pay.

"Did any of the modules pick your interest?" Kabuto asked.

"Destinology," said Deidara. "In fact, I'm only here for that one."

Kabuto turned a few pages.

"You will like neuropsychology too, I am sure of it. It's my favorite.” Deidara passed the book back to him. Kabuto waved his hands. "Keep it. If you have any questions you can always consult it. And if what you're trying to find is not there, just ask me."

Deidara read the book more in depth. Kabuto made no attempt to keep the conversation going, and he was thankful. The trip had left him tired.

The sun had already set when they reached Konoha. Right when the streetlights started to light up. Deidara put the book aside to look out the window. He was in his soulmate's hometown. Somewhere in that metropolis, there was a grave under which his ashes rested.

"Coming from Iwa, I'm sure Konoha will surprise you."

Deidara made eye contact with the driver through the rearview mirror. Kabuto hummed.

"Almost eight million souls compared to... What was Iwa's population? Five million?"

"Wrong. Four and a half," Deidara said, suppressing a smirk.

"Oh, well I was close enough," Kabuto said. "I guess you can't wait to go see the Five Founders Monument, or Otsutsuki Park, or the Kaguya Tree."

"And the museums," added the driver, a hint of pride in his voice. "And the Forest of Death, which is never as frightening as it sounds.

Deidara had already made plans for what to do as soon as he had a day off. First thing, he'd go to the Kannabi Bridge tragedy memorial. Then he would visit cemetery after cemetery until he found it. O's grave.

"If it's not as frightening as it sounds, I'm going to be very disappointed, hm," Deidara replied.

The guy laughed out loud and started talking about strange half-plant half-human cryptids feeding on the unwary who passed by at night and other nonsense. Soon after, when they reached an avenue full of cherry trees in bloom, the taxi stopped. Deidara went outside while Kabuto paid and took his luggage from the boot.

White petals fell off the branch above his head and glided around him until they reached the pavement. Deidara watched their mesmerizing descent under the light of the lamppost and didn't move from there after the taxi drove away.

"Too bad we arrived at night. The street is at its best at this time of the year, and it's not going to last long,” Kabuto stood next to him. "At least tomorrow you can enjoy the view if there isn't too much wind tonight."

"Mm," Deidara hummed.

"I bet in Iwa they are just starting to bloom. I mean, you guys have colder weather and all that.” Deidara didn't even bother to answer that time. "I'll wait for you inside. I know it's pretty but please don't stay here all night."

The shower of petals continued to fall around him. Spring. A new beginning. A new stage in his life. His people might not have supported him as much as he would have expected but Deidara knew he was on the right track. He could feel it in his bones.

After making sure that Kabuto wasn't nearby, he took his wallet and pulled out a piece of paper with the dragon tattoo he designed. Deidara smiled, recalling the only conversation he had with his soulmate. He also remembered that he had to send a message to his mother to tell her that he had arrived well. He'd do it as soon as he had the wifi password. Then Deidara put the drawing back in the wallet, grabbed his suitcase and entered the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and sorry for taking so long to update this fic. This one in particular was harder to write because there are no scenes of them together. Also, I think Kabuto is the second or the character that I detest the most in Naruto and it does not motivate me to write him (sometimes I can't decide whether to give him the first place or the second). I needed him here though, he won't be that important, but he will make his appearances.
> 
> On the other hand, I can finally use headcanons about Orochimaru that I have always wanted to talk about and have never been able to, because he is not a character that I write a lot of hahaha.
> 
> Obito has been nasty to his friends in this chapter, but he is having a very bad time and he does not have the strength to see everything they are doing for him. The scene of the coins is based on a real event. It has not happened to me, but it happened to a girl I know during a very hot summer when she sat down to rest against a church wall.
> 
> I write this fic with a song by Joshua Radin in my head, it is called "Someone else's life." I think it could apply to both Obito's and Deidara's lives. In fact, the fic title is inspired by one of the bits. If you want, you can imagine the busker playing that while Obito cries.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's one (1) Donnie Darko easter egg in this chapter.

The pen tapping on the table was the only sound that disturbed the peace.

Obito no longer knew what else to do to calm down. First he had tried to read the last number of "Science Today", which Orochimaru kept in an overloaded magazine rack. Then he watched the sunset through the window as he brooded over the new student issue. Finally, he started a conversation with his boss, who told him all the details of his upcoming participation in a television talk show on Konoha TV. The same boss who was now looking at him over the screen of his laptop.

"Can't you channel your anxiety in a less noisy way?"

"It's your fault," Obito replied. "You shouldn't have told me someone from the Land of Earth was coming."

"My apologies. I always forget how much it triggers your curiosity,” Orochimaru turned to the clock on the wall. "I imagine it must be difficult to resist. Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

Obito struggled to remain nonchalant. He hated to see his flaws exposed, just the very thing that Orochimaru seemed to enjoy.

"I just wanted to take a quick look at him. As I said, if you hadn't told me anything I wouldn't have been tempted to come."

Obito remembered all the students and patients from Iwagakure he had seen in the past and how he couldn't help but get involved. The last one was a girl with broken bond disorder who didn't even know until then that she had a soul mate. Each and every time, Obito feared that he was talking to the person that fate had linked him to. Autosuggestion gave him unnecessary anxiety and stress that he did not need in his life.

And once again it was about to happen to him.

"Then you won't like to know that the only free apartment we found was next to yours," Orochimaru added.

That time, Obito couldn't help the sigh that left his lips.

"You do it on purpose," he said.

"No, but it's interesting to see the influence it has in you. It happens every single time,” Orochimaru replied.

"So, you enjoy seeing me like this. Am I right?"

Obito was starting to think that Orochimaru had given a scholarship to the first guy from the Land of Earth who begged for one, just to study the phenomenon.

"I didn't say I was enjoying it, Tobi. I said I found it interesting. This could be your chance to have a more in-depth assessment of the matter,” he said, Obito was not at all surprised by the suggestion. "And by the way, you're right. When I told you who was coming, I did it on purpose. But not the apartment thing. I promise you it was the only one we had available."

Orochimaru's phone beeped. His boss turned his attention to the screen. Obito shook his head, thinking about what awaited him.

"If it wasn't on purpose, tell me what's so special about that boy to deserve a scholarship," Obito said.

Orochimaru raised his eyebrows, not taking his eyes off the phone.

"Now you want to know?" Obito was already starting to hate that situation. No, of course he didn't want to know. "He is a soul widower."

To his surprise, Obito was more disappointed than annoyed.

"Is that it? A soul widower?"

"Obviously not. This one is special,” Orochimaru replied.

"Don't tell me more," Obito said quickly, before the other man could say anything else. He was going to draw the line there. "I don't want to know."

"As you wish, although sooner or later you're going to find out," Orochimaru waved his wrist. "But if it's true that you don't want to get involved, you should go now. Kabuto has texted me to let me know they're here.

Carefully, Obito stood up.

"Yes, I agree with that," he said, right before the knock on the door.

Kabuto peeked into the room and Obito exhaled through his nostrils.

"I'm back," he announced.

Almost against his own will, Obito craned his neck trying to see who was behind.

"So? Where's our boy?" Orochimaru asked, rubbing his hands.

Kabuto pointed to the hallway.

"Looking at the cherry trees. I told him to hurry up,” he replied, noticing Obito for the first time. "Well, well, I wasn't expecting this. Hello, Tobi."

The mocking undertones in Kabuto's voice was all Obito needed to make up his mind and get out of there.

"I was leaving," he snapped and forced Kabuto to get out of his way.

"Kabuto doesn't say it to annoy you," Orochimaru said before turning to the newcomer. "I have told him to study his case more in depth, it would be interesting."

"Oh yes, absolutely." Kabuto nodded, rubbing his chin. "If I am of any help, let me know, I will gladly assist you."

"Thank you," Obito said, just because he didn't want to look touchy.

He raised his hand in farewell and went out into the hall. On the way to the residential wing, he glanced at reception. There was a blond guy standing there next to a black suitcase with red clouds. His loose ponytail fell to the middle of his back. He was looking at Tobirama Senju's painting when the receptionist stood next to him and motioned for him to follow.

Obito walked slowly, to try and take a closer look at him. Just one. And when he crossed him, he frowned at the state of his lip. He wondered who would have done that to him and immediately wanted to make them pay.

The guy gave him a casual look and Obito became aware that he was caught once again in that vicious circle. Damn the day Orochimaru told him he was from that place.

Obito took the stairs instead of the lift. Step by step he went up to his floor. His stump was already protesting, but then perhaps he would be too sore to be mad at the world. He regret his decision halfway and stopped on a landing to rest.

"Patience," he said to himself, breathless. "...Have a little patience..."

If he had endured years like that, Obito wanted to think he could last a few more months.

* * *

"We finally see each other's faces!" The man with long black hair got up and walked towards him. His gaze soon drifted to the bottom of his face. "Look at the state of your lip... What happened?"

"It's too much to ask," Kabuto interjected.

The man he recognized as Senju Orochimaru turned to his subordinate for a moment.

"Oh. I see. Well, I warn you that we are all quite curious here, so don't take our questions the wrong way,” he said and held out his hand. "Doctor Senju Orochimaru. Nice to meet you, Deidara."

"Likewise," Deidara replied, shaking his hand.

"Kabuto may have already told you that we are all like one big family here. We don't like formalities."

"Yeah, he mentioned something earlier," Deidara examined the overloaded office. Filing cabinets everywhere, shelves full to the brim with books and hardly any space on the desk. And yet it seemed to his that there was a certain order within the mess. "Thanks for giving me this opportunity. I was looking forward to be here."

"We would have dragged you along if you hadn't wanted to," Deidara gaped, wondering if he hadn't ended up with a bunch of weirdos. Neither of them seemed to be completely sane. Orochimaru walked to his desk and once seated, he smiled. "Just kidding. Fine, Deidara. Ready for us to get to know each other a little? Something to drink, water, tea, soda?"

"A soda would be nice, hm. I didn't drink anything for hours."

Orochimaru stared at Kabuto and the guy went into an adjacent room. Then, he pointed at a chair on the opposite side of his desk and took a few sheets from a pile.

"Are you going to riddle him with questions already? At least wait for him to get some rest,” said Kabuto, returning with a bottle of blue ramune.

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight if I don't quench my thirst for answers a little," Orochimaru replied.

"I'm not tired," Deidara said.

After a triumphant glance at his subordinate, Orochimaru took a ballpoint pen.

"You see? Deidara is an energetic boy. My guess is that he's blood type B. Am I wrong?"

"Actually, I'm AB, hm," Deidara replied, unscrewing the cap on the bottle and taking a sip. If all the questions were going to be that stupid, they would soon leave him alone and he could rest and think about dinner.

"Mmmh, you were wrong again," Kabuto said and sat next to Deidara. "He's not as good as he thinks. He was convinced that my blood type was A. I had to let him do a blood test to prove I wasn't kidding."

Deidara watched Orochimaru shake his head. He hardly knew him but did not question Kabuto's claim.

"Wait at least a week to start airing my dirty laundry in front of the new student, Kabuto," Orochimaru said, pressing the button on his pen. "Fine, Deidara. I have written down here all the questions I had about you. I warn you that some of them are quite personal, but I allowed myself to add them because it would help us a lot to know the state of your post-widowhood psyche. You don't have to answer them, but it would be fascinating if you could clear those doubts for us."

"Okay, hm."

"Do you think of your soul mate often?" Orochimaru said.

Deidara was not entirely comfortable with speaking so frankly about the matter, but it was, he reminded himself, necessary.

"Sometimes I do. No matter how much time passes, my soul mate always comes back to my head. Lately I've been thinking about them more than usual."

Orochimaru took a while to take notes. Deidara couldn't understand a single word of what he was writing.

"Does the memory of your soul mate affects negatively your daily life?"

Deidara thought about the question. It was as if Dr. Orochimaru did not fully believe that he had truly gotten over his BBD. Those questions seemed aimed to see what the extent of his symptoms was.

"Only at the beginning, hm. I was a kid. I used to get sad and spend the day crying. Come to think of it, it wasn't that different from any grieving process that anyone who lost a loved one would have gone through without a soul bond between them."

"I... See..." Orochimaru murmured, writing fast.

"Only..." Internally, Deidara chided himself when Orochimaru stopped writing and looked at him, the pen still resting on the paper. "I hardly knew them. But it affected me as if I had lost a loved one, hm."

"Oh, that's normal," Kabuto said. "There are cases of people who did not know they had a soul mate, but when they died they suffered BBD all the same."

"That's why I said it was stupid," Deidara hated when someone tried to explain things he already knew well. "I have all of Dr. Tobirama's books, I already told you."

"I see that you are a great admirer of dad. He'll like to hear from you, you'll see.” Orochimaru wrote down a few more things. "What about the other symptoms of BBD? Which one would you say you feel most often? Insomnia, lack of appetite, apathy, feeling of loneliness, sadness..."

"None," Deidara shook his head. "And if it happens, I have it under control."

"Got it. Have you been in a romantic relationship with someone else after becoming a soul widower?"

As Orochimaru said earlier, the questions were becoming more personal.

"No," said Deidara.

"Have you ever been attracted to another person after becoming a soul widower?"

Deidara tried to remember. He had met some guys hanging out with Kurotsuchi some Saturday night, but absolutely nothing had come out of it other than a bit of flirting and a few kisses.

"Well, I suppose so. Occasionally, hm."

"And how did you feel about it later?"

Orochimaru's gaze made him feel uneasy, Deidara had a hard time holding it.

"A bit guilty," he reluctantly confessed.

Kabuto hummed.

"Have you had sex after losing your soul mate?" Orochimaru asked, still taking notes.

"Hey. What is this?" Deidara frowned. "A pajama party?"

"Easy, Deidara," said Kabuto. "One of the symptoms of BBD is the permanent loss of sexual desire, as you should already know. Dr. Orochimaru is only trying to evaluate your extraordinary case."

"I understand if you're too embarrassed to talk about these topics." Orochimaru put the pen down. "How about you fill it out in your apartment and bring it back to me tomorrow?"

"Hm, yeah. Let's do that,” Deidara replied.

Orochimaru stuffed the pages into a thin folder he took from his desk and passed it to him. Deidara placed it under his arm and screwed the cap back onto the soda bottle.

"See you tomorrow then, Deidara." Orochimaru stood up and went to open the door for them. "Take him to his apartment, Kabuto."

"Come on Deidara, you're finally going to be on your own," he said. "I bet you can't wait."

Deidara took the suitcase, said goodbye, and followed Kabuto through a lonely corridor whose lights were lighting up as they passed.

"We'll do an MRI scan tomorrow to see what's going on in there. And you will see the facilities and the investigations that we have in progress," Kabuto told him while they waited for the lift. "Anything you need, just call me. In front of your apartment is Tobi's. Let's say he's a bit grumpy but I doubt you have any problems with him. And if you have them, you know what to do."

"If he gives me trouble, I'll solve it myself," Deidara replied.

"Well, I suppose that's fine too." Kabuto reached into his pocket, took out a key, and passed it to Deidara. "Don't lose it."

The key was attached to a small round metal key ring. Kabuto accompanied him to the door, wished him good night and left. Deidara felt a weight lift off his shoulders. At last he was going to be able to get comfortable, get internet connection and write to his mother and friends, he thought as he opened the door and turned the light on. After taking his shoes off, Deidara left the suitcase by the door and the folder along with the soda on the only table he saw. Then he examined the apartment. Small, but it had everything he needed. A table, a chair, a bed, a dresser, bookshelves, a small kitchen and a bathroom.

Resisting the urge to lay down, Deidara decided to finish answering Orochimaru's questions and then unpack and start thinking about dinner. Then he realized that he had no pen and Orochimaru's calligraphy was not the most intelligible he had ever seen.

"Shit." Deidara narrowed his eyes, concentrating on making sense of the scribbles. What was wrong with typing it on the computer and printing it?

Then he heard a knock on the door. Well, if it was Kabuto at least he could ask him to translate that for him. Deidara opened the doot. It was not Kabuto. But he recognized the man behind the threshold. The black cloth patch over his left eye and the scars on the right side of his face were hard to forget.

"Hey! I've seen you downstairs earlier," Deidara said, pointing at him.

The man blinked and looked at him in silence for a few seconds.

"I guess I'm unmistakable," he said, scratching his damaged cheek with a finger. "Since we are going to be neighbours, I thought I'd better introduce myself as soon as possible. My name is Tobi. Nice to meet you."

"Deidara. Kabuto mentioned you before. I hope we get along well, hm."

Kabuto hadn't spoken highly of him, but the first impression he had gotten from him hadn't been bad. On the contrary, Tobi seemed approachable.

"I hope he didn't speak too badly of me," he said, and his gaze dropped to his lips. "Earlier I noticed you have a wound on your lip... I have a first aid kit at home in case you need it. I also thought you might have not had dinner yet, so I made food for two. Just in case."

"Kabuto didn't tell me I was going to have such a nice neighbour, hm." Deidara smiled. "Could you also lend me a pen? Doctor Orochimaru has given me some homework."

"Of course. You can come now if you want. I was waiting for you anyway."

Deidara didn't think about it too much. He had things to do but the comforting smell of what appeared to be curry stew convinced him.

"Hold on," Deidara answered and went inside to leave his phone charging and take the folder before following Tobi.

His new neighbour lifted the lid of a simmering saucepan, examined the contents, and covered it again.

"You can sit down," Tobi said, disappearing through the bathroom door.

Deidara sat in one of the two available chairs. His stomach grumbled in response to the bubbling broth. Beside the bed was a walking stick and a prosthetic leg that made him wonder what exactly had happened to Tobi.

"My lip is fine. Don't worry about it, hm,” he said out loud. "I already looked at it at home."

Tobi peeked out. "Are you sure?"

"It only bothers me a little when I eat. And yes, the purple part looks awful but I will survive."

The rice cooker started to beep just then. Tobi left the bathroom and went back to the kitchen area. Deidara took a closer look at his gait and detected a slight limp.

"Excuse me if I'm being intrusive. It always happens when someone from the Land of Earth visits us,” Tobi said, taking two plates out of the cupboard. "It's hard to ignore."

Deidara wondered if Tobi was another soul widower. There was a bottle of pills in a corner of the table. The label was on the opposite side and although he wanted to know what they were for, he did not dare touch them.

"Why is it hard?" Deidara asked.

Tobi opened the rice cooker and took a white spatula out of a drawer.

"I feel guilty, I can't stop thinking about it... I'd rather not talk about it. Just don't hesitate to tell me if I'm crossing the line.” The stew stopped gurgling when Tobi turned the fire off. Deidara watched him grab a ladle and pour curry over the rice. It was definitely too early to start asking personal questions. "But to be honest, there has been a lot of hype about you. When Dr. Senju offered to give me details about you, I refused. I still think it's better not to know, but at the same time I know that I won't be able to stop thinking about it. Not until I know why you are special."

Tobi turned to him, examining him closely. Deidara felt a slight feeling of guilt, which he dismissed almost immediately. Tobi's personal problems were none of his business.

"What?" Deidara asked, shrugging his shoulders.

"You are not an ordinary soul widower."

Deidara let out a heavy sigh and told him the story that he had been repeating for years. Tobi put the plate of curry rice in front of him and they both started eating while he spoke.

"I see," Tobi murmured, when Deidara was done talking. "...If you allow me to say this... I think you do have symptoms."

"I don't have them," he snapped. He had not moved more than one thousand miles away from his home to be treated like a liar. "Not anymore."

"It's only that, when I look at you you give me the impression of being..."

"Of being what, hm?" Deidara asked.

"Sad. There is sadness in your eyes."

Deidara clenched his jaw. Sad. He was not sad. He hated how the simple word struck a chord with him, making him feel so vulnerable.

"Tch... what do you know?" He snapped. "You don't know me."

"Sorry. You just gave me that impression,” Tobi replied.

They ate in silence for a while. Deidara was still offended, but if he had been taught anything at home it was to be grateful. And it hadn't been Tobi's duty to cook dinner for him.

"This is good. It's different to the one I'm used to, but I like it, hm,” said Deidara.

Tobi looked at his nearly empty plate and smiled.

"Different?" He asked.

"We don't add peas in Iwagakure. And the broth is a bit thicker."

"I learned this recipe from my grandmother," Tobi said. "It would have made her happy to know that you are enjoying it. If I had known about your lip, I would have cooked something milder."

"Stop worrying, hm. No one died from eating curry with a split lip,” Deidara said, and gathered the last bites of his plate into a small heap. After leaving the plate clean, he dropped onto the back of his chair. "Thanks for dinner."

"Don't be silly. It's the least I could do."

Tobi took a pill out of the bottle, put it in his mouth, and swallowed it with water. Deidara looked at him and then at the bottle.

"They're just pain killers," Tobi explained when he realized where he was looking. "If I don't take one after a day of walking too much, my leg hurts at night."

"Hm..."

Deidara went to collect the dishes as soon as he saw Tobi doing it himself, but he snatched the plate away from him with a firm tug.

"I want to help." Deidara frowned, the atmosphere grew tense.

"I don't need it," Tobi said, and Deidara thought he looked annoyed. The awkward situation did not last long. Soon Tobi's gaze softened again and he sighed. "Sorry for that. I'd rather do it myself. We'll have a look at Orochimaru's questions in a minute."

Tobi seemed to be tricky to deal with, but Deidara was already making mental notes of all their interactions. Perhaps, if he were in his situation he would have acted the same. He preferred not to find out. But he wasn't going to apologize, if Tobi still had both legs, he would have insisted on helping anyway. That time he would let it slip but he would call him out if the incident were to repeat itself.

"Do you work here or are you a student, hm?" Deidara asked, as Tobi soaped the dishes under the running tap.

"I was a student and now I work here. I'm part of the team for one of the projects," Tobi replied.

"Interesting." Deidara nodded and removed the sheets from the folder. "What is the project about?"

"I think you might be interested. I'll tell you more tomorrow, it's complex to explain,” Tobi said, leaving the plate in the dish rack and removing the inner pot from the rice cooker. "If we succeed, anyone can finally stop being a victim of fate."

"Sounds like you're going to revolutionize the world, hm," said Deidara.

"I will when we achieve our goal," he replied, rubbing the pot with the scourer. "The world owes me one. After this, we'll be even."

Yes, Deidara thought, looking in turn at the patch covering his eye and then at the prosthetic leg. Tobi did look like the world owed him one.

"I doubt I could live with that constantly on my mind," Deidara said. "When my soul mate died, I simply turned the page."

Tobi didn't answer and Deidara noticed his lips were pursed.

"You don't believe me," he added.

"It's hard for me to do it yet," Tobi said. He wiped his hands on a dish towel and sat down next to him again. "But I do believe one thing. You are being very brave, challenging what fate reserved for you. I admire that."

Deidara smirked, puffing his chest out.

"Well, it's true it wasn't easy," he said.

And as he checked the sheets, Deidara realized that he was about to reveal to Tobi everything Orochimaru had already asked him and what was to come. He bit his lip, hesitating for a moment.

"I can't read those questions if you don't give me the papers," Tobi said.

"Oh well. Who cares?" Deidara sighed, stretching his arm.

At least, Tobi seemed more trustworthy than Orochimaru or Kabuto. Deidara examined Tobi's face as he read, noticing a faint tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"H-hey... This information is quite personal. Are you sure you don't mind if I read it?

Deidara shrugged his shoulders.

"I have already resigned myself," he replied. "It's for research, isn't it? Also, I'm not ashamed to talk about sex. I'm not fifteen, hm."

"Soul widowers often find it triggering rather than embarrassing," Tobi said, pulling a pen out of the drawer under the table.

Deidara took it and answered the last question that Dr. Orochimaru had read to him. It wasn't that Deidara cared about them knowing he never had sex, but that was further proof to them that his case was not that special. At the end, he added, he never had sex because the chance never arose.

"What's the next question, hm?"

Tobi's throat moved as he swallowed hard.

"It says here," he mumbled, frowning "...If you masturbate. If you are able to have an erection."

"Well, I wake up with morning wood sometimes, hm," Deidara teased, trying to sound casual and not like he was talking about jerking off with a stranger.

Tobi stared at him.

"Morning erections have nothing to do with sexual desire."

"Before you carry on, I already know that a soul widower can't get hard without erectile dysfunction medications," Deidara said. And he started writing his answer. "I guess... The broken bond has affected me in that regard, I am not going to pretend that it hasn't. But yes. I've watched porn like everyone else and jerked off, also like everyone else.” Deidara snorted. "Who would have thought that one day, scientists would be interested in this?"

Luckily for both of them there weren't too many embarrassing questions. As Deidara deduced, all of them were related to the symptoms of broken bond disorder, including the issue of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. By the end of the last set of questions, Deidara was mentally and physically exhausted. Tobi placed a hand on his shoulder. The warmth, the light pressure of his fingers made him feel a bit better.

"Are you okay?" Tobi asked.

"Yeah. I guess I need to sleep,” said Deidara, and put the papers back in the folder.

Tobi nodded. "Then go to sleep."

"Again, thanks for everything."

Deidara and Tobi got up at the same time.

"There's no reason to thank me," he said on the way to the door. "There is something I want to ask you in return."

Standing by the entrance, Deidara waited for him to carry on.

"Tomorrow, when you have the results of the tests that they are going to do to you... Would you let me know? It would be interesting to know more about what is happening to you. I think my plan might interest you."

"Okay," Deidara replied, walking out into the hall. "So, see you tomorrow, hm."

"Rest well," Tobi said from behind him. "I promise you that one day, everything's going to be better for you."

Deidara stopped, puzzled. He heard Tobi's door closing behind him so there was no point in asking what he was going on about. Tobi was such an odd man. Shrugging, Deidara went inside his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to publish this last week, but I started working again and everything was all over the place so I had to work extra hard. When I arrived home I was too exhausted to think about fandom stuff. 
> 
> And well, the time has come to write about this headcanon that I have about Orochimaru. That he could be Tobirama's son, the second hokage. I only know that both characters are very similar, maybe not in personality but both were seeking knowledge. Tobirama invented many jutsus, he was a great researcher. Orochimaru took that a step further and crossed many taboos driven by his desire for knowledge. In the end he redeems himself and has a son, and I can't help thinking that both Mitsuki and Orochimaru were conceived in a similar way. In this universe, Mitsuki would be Tobirama's grandson, if he were in history.
> 
> The blood type in Japan is a bit like the zodiac signs, not everyone takes it seriously, but some might (I've read about something called bura-hara which is discimination for your blood type). There is a scene in the series where Orochimaru argues with Kabuto on whether he is A or AB. At first I didn't know that Kishimoto gave Deidara a blood type (I don't know why I thought he didn't, keeping in mind he's a geek). So after reading about different blood types, I took as headcanon that Deidara was blood type B. Then I looked on the wiki and noticed the databook says he's AB -_- And well, that's why Orochimaru thought he was B. 
> 
> On wikipedia it says the following:
> 
> Type A
> 
> Best Traits: Friendly, reserved, sensitive, patient, responsible, perfectionist, wise, cautious.
> 
> Worst Traits: Annoying, overly enthusiastic, obsessive, stubborn, low-key, inconsiderate, jealous, cold, angry.
> 
> Type B
> 
> Best Traits: Passionate, Active, Creative, Animal Lover, Flexible, Cheerful, Friendly, Opimistic, Talkative.
> 
> Worst Traits: Irresponsible, forgetful, selfish, lazy, impatient, unreliable, independent.
> 
> Type AB
> 
> Best Traits: Creative, calm, rational, sociable, intelligent and adaptable.
> 
> Worst Traits: Critical, indecisive, spiteful, distant, unreliable.
> 
> Type 0
> 
> Best Traits: Confident, determined, ambitious, leader, intuitive, charismatic, competitive and athletic.
> 
> Worst Traits: Unpredictable, dismissive, egotistical, cold, aggressive, arrogant, envious, ruthless.


	5. Chapter 5

The chants woke him up before the alarm did. Deidara grunted and opened his eyes a little thinking that they better had a good reason to be making such a racket at such an unearthly hour.

Deidara sat on the edge of the bed and checked on his phone, realizing that he could have slept forty more minutes. He scoffed, tossing the phone onto the sheets and standing up. As he drew the curtain and looked out, Deidara saw a small group of people with banners rallying near the front door. Deidara squinted and tried to read one of the banners but gave up after a few seconds. Moving away from the window, he went to take a shower and plan what to do with the extra time.

* * *

Deidara turned the hair dryer off when he thought he heard a knock on the door. He stood still, checking if it hadn't been his imagination. A few seconds later, the knock came again. He put the dryer on the desk and went to open the door.

"Good morning, early riser," Kabuto said, holding up a white plastic bag. If that was food, perhaps Deidara could try harder to like the guy.

"Morning. Is that for me?" Deidara asked.

"I guess, it was hanging on your door."

Deidara took it. Inside there was a green and brown lunchbox, a carton of apple juice, and a piece of paper.

"I know you haven't had time to go shopping yet, so I made you something. Enjoy,” Deidara read, joy tingling his chest. "Oh, it must have been Tobi."

Kabuto giggled. "And only yesterday he was saying he wasn't going to come near you. Dr. Orochimaru will love to hear about this."

On the street, people seemed to be enjoying themselves, banging on pots. Deidara put the bag next to the hair dryer and walked to the window.

"What are those lunatics doing, hm?" Deidara asked. "Couldn't they have started protesting at a more decent hour?"

Behind him, Kabuto sighed.

"I'm sorry you had to witness such a show. But like you said, they are religious fanatics and they are there because they consider that what we do is immoral."

"Ha."

Deidara remembered Hidan and how good it felt when his fist crashed against the idiot's nose.

"But fear not, they are harmless," Kabuto added, "a little annoying but they won't hurt you."

"Maybe I will," Deidara spun around, "if they keep waking me up, hm."

Kabuto saw the folder with the questions on the bed and grabbed it.

"I hope it doesn't end in disaster," he said. "Even if their cause is stupid, remember that they have the right to protest."

While Kabuto was busy with the papers, which he had taken without asking his permission, Deidara rolled his eyes. He wasn't even complaining about them following rules imposed by something whose existence he had yet to prove. Deidara looked at the bag, mulling over the same subject since he left Tobi's apartment the night before.

"By the way, is Tobi a soul widower?" He asked at last.

Kabuto looked up from the papers. "Is that what he told you?"

"It just gave me that impression," Deidara replied. "And obviously I'm not going to ask him, hm."

"I see." Kabuto pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "As far as I know, Tobi has a soul mate but he's not very happy about it and they have never spoken."

Deidara took his phone to check the time and saw that he had two messages from Kabuto letting him know that he was going to stop by. The screen went black after a few seconds. Deidara stared into his eyes on the black mirrored surface, wondering if there was really sadness in them.

"And I guess said soulmate is from Iwagakure," Deidara replied.

"They are at least from the Land of Earth. That would explain the way he reacts whenever he finds out people came from there,” Kabuto said. "You know... The soul bond ends up attracting one person to the other. Tobi fears that one day his soulmate will cross that door looking for him."

"But it can't be me. My soulmate is dead,” Deidara said.

Kabuto snapped his fingers.

"That is why he succumbed to temptation so soon. Since he already ruled you out, he can give in to the craving without feeling guilty.” Kabuto shook the folder. "By the way, I'm taking this. Is it okay to meet at Dr. Orochimaru's office in twenty minutes?"

"Make it half an hour, hm," Deidara replied, reluctant to accept any of his suggestions.

"Half an hour, then, see you in a bit," Kabuto said and closed the door behind him. 

Once alone, Deidara took the lunchbox, the chopsticks, and the juice out of the bag. He examined the small carton, remembering that his mother used to put one in his back pack every day when he went to school. Deidara didn't even know they were still making that brand, he hadn't seen it in years. Tobi was definitely the best neighbour in the world, Deidara thought, as he took the lunchbox lid off.

* * *

"This will be your study station." Kabuto took a seat and turned the monitor on. The arrow moved across the screen and the mouse clicked twice over an icon of a snake biting its own tail. "And here are all the subjects and the syllabus. You can check the planner if you want to track your progress. Most of the students use it as a guide but you don't have to."

"Okay," Deidara said.

"Questions?"

"Not for now, hm."

Deidara tried to pay attention but his mind was elsewhere. He told himself, for the umpteenth time, that he had all the time in the world to go and investigate about his soul mate but staying focused wasn't easy, just like a fly that goes back to the food after being shooed away.

"Well, then..."

The beep of a message interrupted what Kabuto was about to say.

"Dr. Orochimaru wants to know if you'd rather continue viewing the facilities or get the PET scan done," Kabuto said, looking at his phone.

To Deidara, that seemed like one more way to test him. As if they were trying to figure out how desperate he was for answers. He pretended to think about it for a while.

"What if we go to get me tested first and while the results come out, you show me around?"

Kabuto nodded.

"Perfect," he chierped as he typed in something. "Let me tell the boss."

* * *

Deidara took off his shoes and socks, then he unzipped his trousers and pulled them down, along with his underwear.

"If you have any piercings hidden somewhere on your body, I'm afraid they will have to go out as well," he heard Orochimaru say from the other side of the door.

Deidara snorted, kicking his clothes into a corner. He slipped on a pair of sandals and grabbed the baggy green hospital gown that was folded over the sink.

"For the test, of course," he added. "We don't want to waste time having to repeat it."

As soon as he was ready, Deidara came out.

"And I hope you're not claustrophobic or we'll have to sedate you," Orochimaru said.

"Nah," Deidara replied. "Let's start."

Deidara followed Orochimaru to the center of the room. Kabuto, now dressed in a white coat, tapped the surface right in front of the hole in the machine.

"Lie down," he said.

"And don't move until it's over. Kabuto will stay here keeping an eye on you,” Orochimaru added.

Deidara would rather not think about Kabuto watching him while he was in there. He lied on the platform and allowed his head to be covered with a helmet. The platform moved slowly, pulling him into the machine. Outside, Kabuto and Orochimaru were chatting about stuff he didn't know anything about. Deidara closed his eyes and relaxed his body, blanking his mind until he felt the platform in motion again.

"We are done," Kabuto said. "See? It wasn't too bad."

Deidara opened his eyes and saw them reflected in the metal surface of the thing that covered his head. He wished Tobi hadn't told him about his sad eyes, now he was going to obsess over it every time he looked in the mirror. Deidara sat up and removed his helmet before someone else did.

"You can get dressed now," Dr. Orochimaru said. "Then we are going to do another test."

"One more?" Deidara asked, before locking himself in the bathroom.

"This will be more bearable," Orochimaru answered from the other side. You already know that all the code for our soul bonds is inside the pineal gland. The objective of this test is to help us map it, but you'll be able to move and speak as the machine collects information."

"Mm," Deidara hummed as he put his t-shirt back in. "So, will you guys show me the lab while the test is done?"

"That's right."

Bouncing around, Deidara put his socks back on.

"And the results, when can I see them, hm?"

From a bit further away came Kabuto's muffled laugh. "I already sent everything to Karin to take a look at. Since she doesn't seem to be doing anything important today, she may be able to finish today or tomorrow."

Alone in the bathroom, Deidara smiled to himself. The next thing Orochimaru did was putting something looked like thick headphones with a single speaker on his head.

"Half an hour is all we need," Orochimaru said and turned to Kabuto. "Go show Deidara the laboratory."

Kabuto took a white robe off a hanger full of them and tossed it to Deidara.

"Over here," he said and pushed open the door.

Deidara followed him, buttoning his robe.

"You saw this place earlier." Kabuto waved his arm across the wide room, separated into several corridors by tables and shelves. "This is basically what we have."

As Deidara followed Kabuto through the first corridor, he scanned the lab looking for Tobi. Apart from them there were only the two people he saw earlier. Deidara wondered where he was.

"This is my workstation," Kabuto said, pointing to a table full of vials and test tubes. Separated by a plastic panel, was a computer. Both the shelves and the display were full of colored postits with scribbles in them. "This is where science happens."

"What is this, hm?" Deidara asked, pointing to the test tubes.

"Biological samples," Kabuto replied. "A student is working on an interesting theory about certain protein and I am taking a look at it."

Deidara hummed. Kabuto pointed to the opposite side.

"This is the refrigerator and the freezer," he said and then he sighed, shoulders sagging. "I wish they didn't make that infernal noise, but it can't be helped..."

"What's inside?" Deidara asked.

"More biological samples."

Deidara moved closer to the desk to read the postits but nothing written in them made sense to him. "Is this what you normally do?"

"Well, normally yes" Kabuto leaned against one of the tables, arms crossed. "But right now I am writing an article on the need to review and replace certain definitions and terms with less... Magical ones."

"What's wrong with that, hm?"

Deidara opened the refrigerator. The slap of frozen air on his skin made him to slam it shut.

"Careful, it's minus eighty degrees," Kabuto giggled. "Until recently it was taboo to approach the subject of soul bonds in any other way than mystical or spiritual. Professor Senju Tobirama used simple language in his books so that anyone could understand them and in the absence of defined methods and scientific support, he created custom. It's time to move on from that."

Deidara was grateful that Kabuto decided to continue with the tour.

"This is the centrifugation room." Kabuto opened the door but stayed outside. Deidara glanced around and saw a room full of small appliances that looked like toasters. "To separate components."

"Where do you get the biological samples from?" Deidara asked.

"Good question," Kabuto said, releasing the door. "Almost all of them are from people who donate their bodies to science."

"Are you sure you don't kidnap homeless people for experiments?"

Kabuto laughed heartily.

"Sounds like the plot of some old science fiction movie," he said. Deidara looked at him with a half smile. As they approached where one of the workers was, the guy greeted them. "Deidara, this is Kimimaro."

"Hello," the guy murmured and offered him a pale hand with bony fingers.

Deidara wasn't sure if he was dealing with someone his own age or a sixty-year-old man. The lack of wrinkles told him one thing, but the sunken eyes, grey hair, and hollow cheeks told him another. There were the side effects of the BBD medication right in front of him. A chill ran through his entire body.

"H-hi," he said.

"You look concerned," Kimimaro said. Deidara pursed his lips. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

"Deidara is our new student, I'm showing him the lab," Kabuto said. "Can you tell him what you are working on?"

"Right now, on the Nezumi project. Tobi just brought me something."

Deidara went on alert as soon as he heard that name. He scanned the rest of the doors, trying to see through the round windows. Kabuto and Kimimaro started chatting among themselves. He was already considering complaining about standing there waiting for that pair to finish talking, when the girl with the glasses approached him.

"Uzumaki Karin. You may call me Karin,” she said and held out a hand that he accepted. "Nice to meet you."

"Deidara. Nice to meet you."

"I noticed you were getting bored and came to save you."

Deidara heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, an ordinary person.

"They told me it's you who is taking a look at my test, hm," he said.

"That's right, I just started," Karin replied, pointing to a large screen in the last hall of the lab. Deidara looked at a series of photographs of what he assumed was the inside of his head. "If there is something odd in there, I will drag it out from wherever it's been hiding. I have analyzed too many cases. There are no secrets for me anymore."

Deidara changed his mind about his first impression.

"It will take time, though. And no, I don't give details in advance, ”Karin added.

In the back of the room, a door opened. Deidara exchanged glances with Tobi.

"Hey!" He exclaimed waving at him.

Tobi said nothing, just smiled back and disappeared through another door.

"There he is," Deidara said and walked away.

"Whoa, rude!" Karin replied.

Deidara looked back. "I'll be back in a second," he said, crossing the door to chase after Tobi. "Hi."

His nose registered a tinge of wet hay. Attached to the wall was a long metal shelf full of cages.

"Deidara," Tobi said, closing the door of one of the cages. "You look cheerful today."

Deidara moved to his side.

"It lifts my mood having such nice neighbours, hm."

Tobi scooped corn out of a sack and dropped it into each cage.

"I couldn't leave you with an empty stomach all morning," Tobi answered. "Your lip looks better too."

Deidara pressed a finger to the bruise.

"It still stings a little, but at least it's not swollen anymore," he said, bending down a bit to look inside a cage. A red-eyed white rat came up to sniff him.

"Isn't Kabuto showing you around the lab?" Asked Tobi.

"He was, but he ditched me," Deidara replied, curling his lip, "so I ditched him in return."

"Hmm," Tobi nodded. "Sounds reasonable. I can carry on with the task, if you don't mind me doing it instead of him."

"I'd rather it be you. I like you better, hm," Deidara said, and when Tobi raised an eyebrow he added, "Kabuto doesn't bring me food."

"Oh," Tobi smiled and pointed to the cages. "Like them. Look at them, glued to the bars. They know why I'm here."

"Not a fan of the comparison, hm." The rat lost interest in him as soon as Tobi dropped food into its cage. Deidara straightened up again. "And what are you going to show me? I assume this is Nezumi project."

Tobi dropped the scoop back into the sack.

"It is. These little friends are doing a great service to humanity."

The door opened and they both turned to Kabuto. "I see you found Tobi's hiding place."

"I'll take care of Deidara," Tobi replied. "I was about to tell him about Nezumi."

Kabuto shrugged. "Well well. I expected something like that. See you later then, Deidara."

Tobi shook his head as soon as he left.

"So, we're testing a laser to reshape the insides of the pineal gland,” Tobi said. "The idea is to try it in humans one day, but at the moment that isn't possible."

"But the soul bond between animals has nothing to do with the one between human beings, hm," Deidara replied.

"It's simple and rudimentary. And it doesn't serve the same purpose, that's true,” Tobi said, opening one of the cages and pulling out the rat inside. "But ours evolved as we did, so it is basically the same thing. This is Miki."

With a warm smile, Tobi offered the rat to Deidara.

"Hello, Miki," Deidara said and took it in his hands.

"It might surprise you, but Miki used to be a normal rat. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it.” Tobi turned to a counter and rummaged through the items in a small white basket. Miki tried to climb up Deidara's shirt and he giggled when his whiskers brushed his chin. "And nothing out of the ordinary in Mini, too."

Tobi pulled out another rat and doused it with the small spray can he took from the basket. A fuchsia round stain appeared on Miki's back.

Deidara's jaw loosened.

"Shit," he muttered.

"Shit?" Tobi asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I mean..." Deidara opened his mouth, struggling to make sense of his thoughts. He examined Miki from its ears to the tip of its long tail. "This is revolutionary. How come I haven't heard anything?"

"It's only been published in scientific magazines so far, we don't want to get that much attention yet," Tobi said.

Deidara blinked, cradling the rat in his arms. "Could it be done with humans too?"

"If we master the process, then yes. It is much more intricate and we want to test on primates first. There will be no significant breakthroughs anytime soon. But that's not what interests me. I leave that to the amusement of Dr. Senju.” Tobi put Mini back in its cage.

"You told me yesterday that you were working on something that might interest me," Deidara said. "Were you talking about Nezumi Project?"

Tobi's face lit up.

"How would you like to be able to stop suffering for what fate threw at you?" He asked. "Being able to free yourself from that broken bond forever."

Deidara hummed, glancing around the rest of the cages. There were a few rats that hadn't touched the food and were still sleeping in a corner. "Yeah, I thought it would be something like that. I already told you yesterday that I am not suffering, I am living my life like any other person."

Tobi exhaled.

"Deidara."

Deidara knew what was coming next. He scowled at Tobi, waiting for him to continue. 

"What?"

Tobi held his gaze. It made Deidara giddy inside.

"Nothing," Tobi finally answered. "I would like to get to know you better and see if that is true."

"You didn't want to yesterday," Deidara retorted.

"Well..."

"Do you know what you should do?" Deidara cut him off. "Grab a pen, write on your arm, and tell your soulmate you're there, hm. Maybe this way you will stop freaking out with every person from the Land of Earth that crosses your path."

Tobi walked away, turning his back to Deidara.

"No," he said. "And tell Kabuto to stop talking about me with random people."

"Tch... I'm not random people, I study here."

"But anything to do with my soul bond concerns no one except me," Tobi said. "I'll get rid of it soon and I recommend that you do the same. Otherwise, you will never be able to be completely free."

Deidara frowned, stroking the rat in his arms while he wondered how free he really was, chasing after the grave of his dead soulmate half a decade later.

"If you don't want to tell me about yourself, then I won't tell you about me either, hm."

Tobi's gaze softened.

"Listen... I didn't mean to talk to you like that. There are topics I would rather not discuss,” Tobi replied. "If you don't want to tell me about yourself, I'll understand."

"You're prickly," Deidara said and Tobi lowered his head.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I don't want you to have that idea of me, I want to support you."

The door opened again and Orochimaru poked his head through the crack. "Hi, Tobi. I hate to interrupt this quality time between you two, but I have to take Deidara with me.

Deidara took a few steps forward.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"We want to discuss something with you," Orochimaru said.

"I'm coming, hm," he said, and turned to Tobi. "See you later."

"Deidara," Tobi called him as he was about to walk through the door. "May I have Miki back, please?"

"Oh," he murmured, looking at Miki who had snuggled into his arms. "I guess I can't keep it."

Tobi took the rat from his hands.

"Unfortunately not. See you later."

Karin, Orochimaru, and Kabuto were huddled around the big screen when Deidara came out.

"What is going on?" Deidara asked.

The three of them turned their heads and looked at him.

"Deidara... Are you really a soul widower?" Asked Dr. Orochimaru.

Deidara stiffened.

"Y-yeah, hm. Of course I am!" He exclaimed, looking at the screen. "Why?"

Karin pointed to one of the pictures.

"This is your pineal gland." Then she pointed to another one right next to it. "This is the pineal gland of a soul widower. And here's one from someone with an active soul bond. As you can see, yours is more like the latter."

Deidara compared the three pictures. The pineal gland of the soul widower was colored in a dark purple hue. The one with the active bond was a reddish orange colour that turned yellowish around the edges. His was yellow-orange with a bit of green.

"Hm... How do you explain this?" Kabuto asked, tapping his chin with a finger.

"How do I know, hm? I haven't lied about it,” he snapped.

"No one is accusing you of that, Deidara," Orochimaru said. "It is very unusual, but that would explain your lack of symptoms. Your brain chemistry isn't as messed up as the typical soul widower."

"Actually, I've seen a case like this before," Karin said, and they all looked at her. "Remember that woman whose soulmate was in a coma? Her pineal gland was similar to this one. Reduced activity but still functional."

"The brain capacity to fool itself is impressive," Kabuto said.

Deidara's eyes went wide.

"Does that mean...?" Deidara couldn't even articulate his own thoughts. Everything he had ever believed in had just vanished in the blink of an eye. That explained so many things.

"Look at his face!" Kabuto said. "You look like a kid in a sweet shop!"

"This is unexpected," Dr. Orochimaru said. "From your reaction, I deduce there are chances that your soulmate is still alive and unable to communicate with you for some reason."

"I've never thought about it, hm. Seriously, I mean,” Deidara said, his grin widening. "But..."

Kabuto smirked. "He can't speak yet."

"Let's give him time," Karin said. "Also, we are still not sure about the cause. It's only a guess. Perhaps you truly are a special case of a soul widower."

"I know," Deidara replied. "But now there is hope."

Orochimaru nodded.

"Take a moment to digest the news," he said. "It will be good for you."

"Can I take this off now?" Deidara asked, pointing to the device on his head. "It's heavy."

Orochimaru stretched out his arm.

"Give it to me. And remember, don't count your chickens before they hatch. We still have to finish analyzing all the data."

Deidara returned the device.

"Yeah," he said and walked away from them.

This opened up so many possibilities that Deidara couldn't help but think it was too good to be true. His grin hadn't faded yet and Deidara couldn't wait to tell his mother, Kurotsuchi and for some strange reason, Tobi as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, TOBIDEI WEEK 2020 IS COMING SOON! :D And here's the link to [ our blog](https://tobideiweek.tumblr.com/). We have reached more Tobidei fans from around the world and they're excited to participate. Whether you're a content creator or just wan't to see the new content, please keep an eye on the blog to stay updated.
> 
> Yes, I read Descartes to write this chapter. : P Let's say there was the belief that the pineal gland was a "third eye" and according to Descartes, that is where the soul resides. So it gave me the perfect medium to give a scientific twist on something "spiritual." It also has many more functions such as producing neurotransmitters and regulating night / day cycles. Hence, when the soul bond is broken, something in the brain goes out of whack forever.
> 
> I have only been in a lab once, so I had to watch a lot of videos of "laboratory tours" which gave me ideas about what to expect and the way they work. It was interesting and I learned a lot :D

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to make this short but I couldn't. I had again too many ideas. I don't know how long this will be to be honest.


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